So yesterday was a great day!!! I did not argue, yell, fight with my H at all. He has been staying at a friends house at night, so he texts me after he had left and says he wanted to thank me for a calm day. I responded you are welcome. he then proceeds to tell me that I looked cute tonight and that it was nice talking to me calmly and that makes him miss things. He comes home unexpectadly and gets in bed with me and starts rubbing my back, stroking my hair and I finally ask what he was doing (nicely too). I said I didnt think it was a good idea because we were going to seperate and he said he needed to leave and was upset about it. I said ok. I think he was shocked to say the least!
I did great yesterday and today. He has been staying at a friends house for awhile and he came home unexpected and got in bed with me. I told him that wasn't a good idea because we had agreed on seperating and he was shocked and upset. He said he had to go and I told him that was totally fine.
So yesterday was a great day!!! I did not argue, yell, fight with my H at all. He has been staying at a friends house at night, so he texts me after he had left and says he wanted to thank me for a calm day. I responded you are welcome. he then proceeds to tell me that I looked cute tonight and that it was nice talking to me calmly and that makes him miss things. He comes home unexpectadly and gets in bed with me and starts rubbing my back, stroking my hair and I finally ask what he was doing (nicely too). I said I didnt think it was a good idea because we were going to seperate and he said he needed to leave and was upset about it. I said ok. I think he was shocked to say the least!
Katie,
When he texted you, you shouldn't have responded. It wasn't about the kids, or any family logistics, and it makes it look like you're just hanging over your phone, WAITING for a text from him. Best to wait a few hours, or -- even better -- until the morning, and reply with a "Sorry, I just saw this -- been super busy! Yeah, it was a fun day, good stuff. - K"
I did great yesterday and today. He has been staying at a friends house for awhile and he came home unexpected and got in bed with me. I told him that wasn't a good idea because we had agreed on seperating and he was shocked and upset. He said he had to go and I told him that was totally fine.
GOOD JOB!!!!!!!
Another good answer can be "I've decided that I really don't want to be with someone who isn't sure they want to be with me right now."
I did great yesterday and today. He has been staying at a friends house for awhile and he came home unexpected and got in bed with me. I told him that wasn't a good idea because we had agreed on seperating and he was shocked and upset. He said he had to go and I told him that was totally fine.
GOOD JOB!!!!!!!
Another good answer can be "I've decided that I really don't want to be with someone who isn't sure they want to be with me right now."
Puppy
Or just "Ew."
Kidding! Ha!
Good job, Katie! Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Thank you guys for the advice I will be sure to follow it!! Today he was awfully emotional and asked me if I was sure we were doing the right thing, and then when he got home he said are we ready to do this after giving me a hug and saying he missed me. I responded to him that yes I am ready to do this and that he would be ok and everything would turn out as is suppose to in the end. Then about 30 mins later he informs me that his mom would be willing to pay for his mediation services and his friend would give him money for our roof, I said that sounds good.
If you don't want a divorce, then you don't have to agree this quickly to mediation. This is HIS decision, and his journey. You don't have to expedite it.
Last night before my H left for his softball game he said that he was going to take care of himself sexually unless I wanted to do something with him. I didn't reply but sent him a text message later on that said I don't think that doing that is good because we are moving on and don't need that emotional act to set us back. He replied it's ok. Then this morning before he left for work comes up to bed and kisses me?
He's sensing he's lost control of you, and he's trying to restore the equilibrium. Stay strong, and if you DO weaken, for God's sake, USE PROTECTION (sorry to be so blunt).
Last night before my H left for his softball game he said that he was going to take care of himself sexually unless I wanted to do something with him.
I think you should have looked at him, shook your head (as if in disgust) and say "Wow."
You know, if he keeps this up, maybe you should just call him on all the secretive behavior, once and for all, and say "(Husband), I'm sorry, but I just don't feel safe with you right now. Your secretive behavior makes me assume the worst, and my health is more important to me than a quick rush of good sex, or even hurting your feelings. If you'd like to unlock your phone RIGHT NOW, and show me all of your incoming and outgoing text messages, and agree to be completely transparent with me going forward, then maybe I can feel safe again."
And then just look at him. If he balks, say "I guess I have my answer. Good luck with your hand."
