Laura- thanks for the feedback. Congrats on the weight loss, too! I totally get what you are saying I have made many 180's and got myself happier with or without him. I felt that detachment was an easier place to be. That felt easy. Piecing feels like you have to let go of some of the detachment, KWIM? Our MC stated that my hubby gets extremely anxious when ever I voice any concerns- not sure how to deal with that. Tried letters, small comments hear and there, droppping hints, postive feedback and reinforment for actions I have liked. Direct talking does not go over well, he gets upset. Well, I get upset easily too- so I guess we are a match. lol He responds best to me being perky and happy, in a good mood. I can not always maintain a good mood though. Sometimes I want to feel authentic.
Shockenly, I recently had a bout where I was not interested in sex for a while. I just didn't, I don't know why. Never happended b4-odd. I think I just felt closed off. Usually, I don't know if I am abnormal but I really want sex, all the time. Sex that is enjoyable to me I mean. I mean in the college days I would have no problem with haveing sex to just have sex. I can not imagine going without. Although I did last six months away from hubby with only a couple visits to get me by. It was hard. Thanksfully hubby has a high sex drive too and has been working towards meeting my needs and not just one sided. When there is slipping in this and other areas... really negative feelings and thoughts creep in.
I feel bad and honestly wrong to have such negative thinking. I mean I should appreciate what I have and other areas of my life. I should not focus in on the disapointing aspects. What a waste of energy. But it there in my mind. I want to get it out- those negative thoughts. It's not productive at all. I mean if I feel less than happy about a situation- I should just learn to deal...
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)