A great book to learn how to get your H interested in you is "For Better or For Best" by Gary Smalley. There are lots of ways to get a man's attention besides nagging. You are doing what you know best, and it is difficult to change to something else. That's not his problem though. You want something, you have to learn how to get what you want. You have to learn to do all the things that this board advocates--GAL, detach, 180s, create mystery etc. It's not easy, but it's not rocket science either.
180s are different for everyone, but they ALWAYS create interest and curiosity in the other person (well, I should say as long as the other isn't involved in drinking or drugs).
And detachment will help you see him for the flawed being he obviously is with his own demons and you won't be so affected by what he does say/doesn't say.
You have work to do. I know you don't want to hear that, nobody does.
I have found though that actually doing the work brings up my self esteem. I am not always successful, but sometimes I am. And each time I get a little better, it spurs me on to try something more.
I am enjoying the journey. It's become exciting to see what **I** am becoming. My H is a critical, difficult perfectionist (and he likes porn too, and it's been 3 months since we've ML). But I have been having a lot of fun GAL--and in the meantime I've lost 20 pounds.
