It absolutely sucks! I do think that deep down one day he will realize it for himself.
Just a thought... I agree that it would be good if he realized it for himself, but in the meantime, I fear you waiting for him to get to that place (if ever) will just continue to destroy your self esteem. Always waiting for someone else to realize how they've affected you does little for you but take your power away. Let me tell you, he will 'realize' when he hurts you a lot sooner, if you're consistently and concisely - even loudly! - expressing how deeply painful it is when he does.
Further, you owe that to yourself to tell people when they hurt you. It's scary - believe me - this is one thing my IC has been working on with me for months. But it's very very empowering. Don't you feel you deserve that?
I just got a new book yesterday that might interest you. It's called 'Saying What's Real' by Susan Campbell. It's about staying centered in your needs and reality while communicating during conflict. I'm just a short ways in, but thought I'd suggest it to you.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
