Dont beat yourself up so much. You are not in a rut. From what I read, you are able to keep busy. I will agree with Kimmie in that you do seem to have some codependency type of behavior towards Dan.
What has worked for me...
- developing a happy go lucky easy going attitude. Dont get stressed over many pending todo things at work or around the home.
- not bringing up the past with my XW.
- being friendly with her and old man Ed.
- realizing that I am pretty darn content with her not as my wife.
- planning for occasions in the future. Having something to look forward to. But also allowing for spur of the moment things.
You have a lot going for you and eventually the right guy will come along and land in your lap.
The last I heard my building principal called me in, back in February I believe...she told me that they were considering making my position half time to save budget money. Truly I only do enough ELL/ESL work to justify half time, and I acknowledge that. Just not enough bodies in our school with that need...
However she said they were not wanting to lose me, tht they were planning to figure out something to do with me the other half to keep me full time. And presumably whatever they assigned me the other half would save them more $$ by not having someone else do it...so she asked me then to get her a list of my endorsements/experience etc to help them out.
Well I gave her said list right away that week. She thanked me but said that the school board did not addrss cutting my position at the board meeting as they had anticipated, so she wasn't sure the next step would be necessary.
I haven't heard anything since.
I guess I am nervous bc I have to refi my mortgage over the summer to get the house in my own name...also if I went to just half time I would lose my insurance benefits...
