Naej, I have to remember that one person changing the dynamics of a R, can have a significant impact. I also remember from DB, that if the R hasn't changed, than one person hasn't changed enough (that would be me).
My W probably should have had the courage to leave or threaten to leave the M, versus making a unilateral decision to have a one-sided open M. I won't accept going into individual therapy to fix OUR marital problems anymore. Her blaming won't be accepted. That approach hasn't worked either.
I keep thinking about what you're saying about my W waiting for me to have a presence and fight for the M. I haven't fought for the M in the past. I've been loyal, patient, resentful, avoidant, tolerant, and passive. Maybe I wanted to escape but also didn't have the courage to leave or stand up to her.
Posting here helps to keep me accountable.
Let this new phase begin.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
