Its over according to her. Rollercoaster continue

[ninelives]

Hello:

This is a new thread for me as I think the other one went as far as it could.

I have not initiated any contact from my w for about three weeks but she contiues to do so as if nothing is wrong.

She walked into my house again to drop off a mail box key and found some journnals on my dresser drawer. Her name was on the top as if I was writing to her but i was never going to send them, just journalling and trying to sort things in my head.

The gist of these letters was that I could not believe she would put herself ahead of our boys, that all problems could be salvaged with understanding and by following The DR.

At the end I got kind of nasty and basically wrote, Go to Hell and if there is a hell, she is on her way. Mind you I would not want her to read this letter.

She also came in earlier that day raving about this new house she found and how excited the kids are about it. Well, I am not responding as i am NOT AT ALL HAPPY that she has found a house and I think its a tad insensitive to be raving about in front of me.

I could have put on a big act about it not bothering me, but she sees through me anyway. Then she notices i am wearing my wedding ring again and makes a comment about it. " Why are you wearing your ring?"

I calmly take it off and toss it down the hall. Immature I guess and really no excuse. It was a kneejerk reaction.

She sends me this message today that i don't understand her at all and that she did love me but can't love me again or anyone for that matter. That she wants me to be happy and apologizes for ruining our lives. But she can't try again.

I think she really means it this time but she is always concerned what i am doing. I was at a conference last week and a mutual friend said she was angry that i was staying overnight and concerned if I was going to the bars to "Pick UP".

I just wonder if its really over this time. She still seems confused but is convinced she will be happier on her own.

Her best friend swears that there is not another man as she has asked her repeatedly. All her best girlfriends are friends with me and I am tight with their husbands and they insist that she is not involved.

Maybe she is just done with me and wants to move on. It does still hurt but i am trying to GAL. I have plans to hang out with a girls that i met recently, but just as friends.

Also, as cliche as it is, I have enrolled in a motorcycle class and intend to be riding by summer. Something I have always wanted to do.

I know I am the only one to answer this but do i keep holding on? Have any of you been in worse situations where it worked out in the end?