CL I truly hope you are not disappointed. I truly hope you set and enforce boundaries.
No breakdown is onesided and you know your faults but whilst your wife is living in a SSM as you say, by all acounts she is not sex starved and if she loved you and that was the real issue then surely she should have spelt that out to you and if you had been unable to meet her requirements then she should have left or you both should have been able to agree on an "open type" marriage kind of thing which is basically what you have now without your agreement. I know little of these marriages other than they exist and seem to work for some people. I think maybe patience is confused with rug sweeping but that's ok as now you see that it has not worked and as I do believe that your wife is waiting for you to stand up and be a man action may be just the thing needed. You can still be true to your beliefs whilst setting and enforcing boundaries. The key word being enforcing, once set no looking for loopholes to excuse the fact she is flouting them, no excuses or backpeddling on your part because the alternative is going to cause upset / unpleasantness. Divorce is unpleasant and upsetting but it is a process that once gone through ends,it doesn't last forever. Take care.
