I also think you should not underestimate the "grass is greener" draw. New woman will make all pain go away without me doing anything to work on my own issues! New woman will have no problems, or less, and bring "happiness." Your H's chronic job dissatisfaction and life dissatisfaction sounds like they have been long term with all the job switching. When stuff was better between you two, did you distract him from that reality? And then when your mom died, did you stop helping distracting him with "love" from his life and career dissatisfaction? He may just want a new distraction if he's not going to deal with that.