He sent me quick update this afternoon and he is feeling better!!!!
I shared I may not post on the joint thread anymore, as not sure if will be posting much at all for awhile and he said he has been planning to post on that thread
He may take a look at Sage's DR thread tonight
May give me a call this evening to see what my plans are as I shared was planning some big changes for me and some changes again for house
For Me:
Beautiful sunrise to start the day
My trees were crooked this morning from all of the wind and the guy came back and staked them today
Feeling just pretty positive about my life in general right now
Loose plans that going to work on some more this evening to start implementing changes in my life, hopefully for the better
Downloaded Yahoo and chatted with Deb today, she is a very POSITIVE personality!
Did my exercise video again this morning, sooner or later it is bound to get easier! I know that is when I have to change it.
Only ate half the candy bar I bought at work today, at least this way I have half for tomorrow and the plan is next week to stay away from the darn things
Did a different meditation this morning and it was neat
Got real stressed at work today, went to the Ladies room and meditated for a few minutes and at least 2 or 3 times when went after coffee experimented with the moving meditation, very interesting!
Cold outside and good evening to snuggle with shelties in front of fireplace tonight!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hey there friend, your favorite driver is here with a big warm hug for you and Shiny.
Sorry, I was away (no, I wasn't in prison) for a while. You are sounding pretty good. On my sitch, nothing has really changed. I am just avoiding bear traps the W tends to leave behind.
I got to run back to work to finish the day. I will write more this weekend.
At the end of the day my Excel spreadsheet was really acting weird and I was trying to get something finished at work. I haven't used Excel a lot but was pretty sure I was telling it what I always have and it was behaving differently.
So broke down and called David on his cell phone and caught him. He told me to try the things I already had and it was still acting weird. I ended up having to put him on hold for a long time and he was really patient!!!!!!!!!
Ended up he had me copy all the data to a new spread sheet and it worked fine. No idea what was wrong with the one I fought with for an hour.
So I ended up bringing work home but David was very patient and helpful today!
He said he feels a bit better today. I didn't ask him if he just didn't go to work today or this was his off Friday. Either way I hope he got some much needed rest to kick whatever he has had for so long now!
For Me:
Another beautiful sunrise this morning! I love those when they start the day with all the glorious colors.
I got part of the questions on the DR thread Sage started answered.
I had a very good day at work today, got some stuff done been wanting to get done.
Downloaded Yahoo and had a great time this morning with some folks from the bb
David never signed on to AIM today and I at first was a bit concerned that he was bad off then realized that it was probably his Friday off rather than me panicking and thinking the worst, like he had ended up in the hospital or something! So managed my runaway quick initial thoughts.
Very relaxing evening tonight. Have done a bit of laundry but also snuggled with shells in family room with the fire place going. Very soothing to watch the flames!
It is doing a nice gentle rain this evening which will be really good for my new trees that were just planted on Wednesday.
I still feel pretty positive about me, had to do some thinking a time or two today but found a nice quote on Water's thread that I copied to mine, think it is a good thing to remember.
The house is still feeling pretty good to me and hoping to get a lot of cleaning done on it tomorrow. THEN onto decluttering and other projects!
Did my exercise video again this morning and had time for a meditation before work.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
He tried to work on my computer again. It is being very stubborn.
He stopped and picked up breakfast so I could go ahead and get my car home and cleaned out.
We had a nice breakfast together.
I was worried about the dryer and he checked that out for me
He gave me a nice hug before he left
Just before he went out the door he joked/flirted with me one line.
For Me:
No sunrise, raining. But it was a nice gentle soaking rain so really just what my new trees needed.
Got my computer back online even though have lost all of the data here, hoping it can possibly still be retrieved someway
The shells and I ended up with a nice relaxing afternoon/evening, I read a book and they snuggled with me
Got a load of laundry finished up
I didn't miss David after he left, sometimes when he is here early and runs out to go to work I miss him for awhile till I adjust again. Yesterday didn't have to do that, so getting better
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Well the positives are a bit tougher today. I almost decided not to list them then decided I should do it anyway!
But the computer is still messed up and now the dryer is tore up and I have wet clothes hanging all around the utility room, soooo, I'm going to look past that stuff!
Positives for Sunday
None for David didn't see or hear from him today.
For Me:
Good trip to the grocery this morning, think I remembered everything I wanted to get. I always plan to make a list and don't get it done!
Remembered the medicine I worked out a deal with David on my picking up for him in trade for him picking some stuff up in Louisville for me that I'm not having any luck finding over here.
The shelties snuggled with me all day, while I was reading and watching the race. We didn't end up ordering a pizza.
I got fresh baked bread at the grocery this morning, a weakness for me, and munched on that today so didn't eat a regular meal.
Got the work I brought home to do finished this morning after grocery.
My new trees have now been well watered as it rained again today.
I had a post from Zoo this morning when got back from the grocery that just really spoke to where I was feeling right then
Had a fun time chatting on Yahoo today with, let me see, what was it kitti called it, "a real hen's gathering"? Anyway I had fun!
Lots of rest over the weekend, I for some reason was feeling tired. So have to make plans to do housework during the week this week.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Ok DB'ers we may need some guidance here if David chooses to participate.
David,
I will not be starting AIM today. I am very tired of the communication patterns that exist on the IM. BTW: Zoo was asking me about posting the IM for yesterday. I know that a lot of times you keep the whole thing, as you have emailed them to me before, she asked me about posting yesterday's. I do not have it as I usually close the window during the day, plus when the modem goes down I lose it. If you do have it since she asked I do not mind if you want to post it here so that folks can see the communication pattern that we currently have going on. Or if you don't have yesterday probably one of the ones that you do have would work to demonstrate better than we either one can explain to everyone the pattern that is happening. If you are comfortable posting one of the ones you have I do not mind. I can look to see if I still have any past ones but I generally do not save them.
You are welcome to respond to me here on this thread if you have anything to say to me. That way maybe some of the good db'ers here can help us to break the communication pattern that we are locked into at the present time. You are of course still welcome to call, email or come over to the house.
I feel that we are still very much not understanding one another, I believe this has been the pattern for several years. I am not sure when it changed, I believe at one time we were able to communicate, at least better than we do now.
I am sorry I upset you yesterday. I do not feel I deserved to be cussed out by you and yelled at by you and I guess rather than cuss back at you I should have chosen the option that you did and hung up.
I feel that we have a very unhealthy pattern of communication. All of my buttons are pushed by my feelings that you ignore me and brush me off while putting the worst take on things, no benefit of the doubt that you might have misunderstood me. This tends to leave me staying in all of my past bad communication patterns. I feel that I have improved a lot with other folks but the interactions with you are still very much the same as they have always been. I feel with not much understanding or respect on either side at this point. This sucks by the way. I hate it and can not continue this interaction.
I react, you react. This gets us nowhere. I also feel you are still holding a lot of grudges over the past. I am trying very hard not to do that, (not always successfully) and my feeling, not that it is necessarily accurate, is that the difference is you believe I deliberately tried to hurt you, while I believe that the things you did to me were simply that we nether one knew any better and the R spiraled out of control.
But I still do not believe you have made conscious choices to do something with the intention to hurt me. I do not feel that you have given me that benefit of the doubt and feel that has colored all of our interactions since you first started feeling I was doing things to deliberately hurt you or overlook your feelings.
I could throw a whole list of things on here, but what would that gain me? It is the past, I am not even sure a lot can be learned from it. I think the solution would be to look to the future and a way to communicate respectfully and with UNDERSTANDING to one another.
Yes, I made a lot of mistakes, and so did you, but is that somewhere we want to live with those constant reminders clouding our future? Even if our future doesn't end up being together.
I know it is my choice how I feel, but have ended up with the way things have went, I feel, unloved, unattractive and very dumb. I have always thought very highly of you, and so maybe that leads to my feeling this way, but the interactions we have had lately have led me to that is how I feel now. I feel very brushed off by you now, very much the way I have seen you treat your mother over the years.
Anyway I wanted you to know why I did not start AIM this morning. It is not that I am mad at you over yesterday, that is just one more in a long string of misunderstandings. I no longer intend to participate in them, they are simply dragging me down and wearing me out.
I hope your cold is better and you have a good day.
I actually worked to try to keep this short. It isn't, but much better than it could have been with my tendency to wordiness.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
