How do I act?

[steady]

Surviving, I didn't mean for you to expect your H to be specific about the things he needs to change. I was merely speaking about you being specific. He may never be specific in words to you.

His actions will speak louder than words. Let's say he didn't pay much attention to you. Does he need to say, "Sorry I didn't pay much attention to you" if he's paying enough attention to you now that you are satisfied with?

If he's giving you what you need why would you need him to apologize for something in the past if he's changed it and is no longer doing it?

Yes it would be nice to hear it from their lips, but it isn't the most necessary thing. Some people will apologize and then continue the same behavior. I'd rather have the no apology with a change in behavior than the other one.

Letting go of control is one of the best things people can do for themselves. Control is an illusion. Letting it go brings a sense of peace.

Trust is hard to build and easy to lose. Trust is built back by the person being consistent in their words and actions. It will come back slowly unless he does something to break it. Don't have an expectation.

I also think it's admirable you identified those issues you are holding onto and you are actively trying to get past them.

"Anger is a poison we drink waiting for the other person to die."