How do I act?

[Surviving03]

Yes, I would want him to be specific about the things he did wrong... which I am having a little bit of a hard time with, I dont feel like we are able to talk enough about the things he did "wrong", which is hard for me... its part of my changes, to not talk about relationship issues all the time, not talk about the past all the time, not dwell on past issues, not make everything into an issue. So its hard for me to bring these things up with H without seeming like I have not made any changes.

On a lighter note... things are still continuing to go really well. H was very nice and affectionate yesterday. We went out to eat together and did some shopping off base in Turkey. While we were eating I mentioned that I feel such a sense of relief not feeling like I have to try to "control" things, it makes me just feel so much more at ease, I cant quite describe it (thats one of my changes, learning to let go of my need to control everything) and H said thats really good, thats good to hear. And then he told me that I was alot of fun the night before (we had gone and played tennis and shoot some hoops together, and I am the least athletic person in the world but I just tried to have fun with it) so that was nice to hear.

H also has been saying alot of things regarding "We" like "Our" future plans, "when we have kids" "when we live...." etc.... I was sitting on the couch last night and the dog was sitting next to me and he said "move zync, I want to sit by my baby!"

So, its going good.... all those things on the surface are good. I still have some inside things Im holding on to, like my feelings about trusting him, my feelings about wondering what I dont know about what happened with OW, feeling like he isnt doing anything extravagent to show me he is remoreful.... so Im working thru those things...