Bobby,you have been doing exactly what you need to do. I think it has been a good job and I know it has been extremly hard.
Your W is confused by your changes, and that is a good sign. Her asking you if she's pretty, etc. is a big tip that she's still interested in how you feel about her. When you answer her,be honest (like you were) but don't show emotion. You handled that great!
I know you want to be loving and supportive during the time her sister is having treatments, however, you need to show support toward her as if she was just a friend or you will cave under the emotion. Show support to her family and expecially her sister, but don't give physical affection to your W in trying to show her you care. That is what men want to do,but she does not need to have that from you just yet.
She may be in an A, but try not to get obsessed about it right now. If you have seen no proof, then do not ask her anything. She would lie about it anyway.
There is some reason she is pushing for you to leave. Then she comes back with waiting for two years (which is very selfish), so she is simply thinking about what's best for "her". Be sure you have a very good lawyer!
There have been cases where it came down to going to court and the W would drop the D. So, continue to do what you are doing. I promise that you would not stand a chance if you conducted yourself in any other fashion.
This is all about choices. She must see for herself the choices she is making. She will not do that by you talking and trying to show her. It just has a way of doing the oppposite desired results whenever the H tries to "talk" about it to his W.
I know you want her to meet with Michele, but until she is ready and desires to make the M work, it would only push her farther away. Timing is everything. When she is ready, she will make a move toward you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
