Invinceable

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Mish, nice you could be there for your cousin, take it easy though hey, you have alot on your plate too and your own grief to deal with!

As for Gabe.. I dont get why you mentioned the broom. If you feel he is in a place he may go back to her, then.. why are you and him...etc etc??? I dont think he would, not now he has made the break. I always said, when they're done, they're DONE. After all the drama with her, he sounds pretty done (but hey, could be wrong!).

As for "What am I supposed to say that wouldn't sound like I'm trying to control him or get him to make some kind of declaration of his intentions?"

- you dont TELL him what to do or ASK him what he's feeling/thinking.

You tell him what YOU are feeling and what you want to do. You only talk about yourself and leave it up to him to decide what to do with the info.

Of course in order to do that, you need to decide how you feel and what you want to do.. like whether or not you are going to continue to ML with a guy who you have no idea where you stand or what his next move is going to be and is making no attempts to give you something concrete to stand on. I also didnt get that in the early days of my reconciliation, not verbally.. BUT there was no doubt in my mind that he had 'turned' and was back for good, because I saw it in his eyes. The old bf was back and the closed/withdrawn gaze was gone. They call it the cold, or alien eyes, but it was never so harsh as that. Whatver it was, it was GONE. How are Gabes eyes when he looks at you now??

After all he put you through and the hurt and tooing and froing, you really should be standing still, stating how you see it and its his choice whether he wants to 'man up' and be in a relationship with you again. It worries me reading your posts because I can see how much you need this.

The bit where he said he was leaving for a few days, was.. fair enough. It was about HIM, not you. He was safegaurding himself and his feelings of shame about how he has behaved and NOT being able to handle having to be confronted with his actions and shame and guilt by facing your family and what he imagines will be their hostility/disapproval.

NOT about a desire to either a) leave you/your house again (who knows, in the long run though? Probably not even Gabe knows) or b) return to the broom. Just not being able to 'face' your family. Yes, cowardly, but in not a rejection of you, perse. But you know that, right? WAS shame and guilt.. dbing 101.

Hugs to you at this difficult time,
Al xxx