Need a Plan for My Marriage

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

She's getting bolder with the OM. She's compartamentalizing hard in that there are many things she will do with OM that she won't do with you anymore.

[LSG]

W started in on me about the free Vegas tickets we have and the MC. Blah, blah, blah. I told I did not want to talk this morning about it or fight. She said, "she does not want to go with out situation the way it is." She is the one that is causing it by her A. I did not say anything. I just let it go. I am real tired of the self righteousness.

I got to go because she is here. I do not want her to know I am her. I just needed to have my say tonight. I am not hurt lately. More strong than ever at the moment. I hope it continues. I do not know what will happen, but I will survive somehow.

You are right DaddyLongShanks! What do I do about it?

[DaddyLongShanks]

LSG,

Hell there would be no situation if she could drop her affair.

We all know to do so, they have to care about you more than they care about themself, at least for the transition. Its why it doesn't happen.

Not sure what to do, but if you have a solution it will be silver bullet for someone out here!

What you need is for that guy to dump your wife for whatever reason or another.

[LSG]

I dropped my phone in the toilet at training yesterday. It is kind of working. The 3 keeps on starting by itself.

I hope the car ride to drop off W is better than the last 2 days. I need to keep my calm more when she starts an argument. I have not been very active because I have been very busy these days.

I wish everyone her the best, and I thank you guys for your continued support.

[LSG]

It has been nice to go to my training and have some time to focus on something other than my M sitch. I had a good day and passed my test. My phone is working after its swim in the toilet. Well sort of. I feel rested and relieved today.

The car ride was the most uncomfortable 20 minutes of my life with complete silence.

I will not do MC with my wife. The MC says he does not know where she is getting her legal advice because she thinks that she will take everything from me. He told me that he will not help her to get what she wants. He said, "she wants to use counseling to have her way in the D." He said, "he is about our relationship and nothing else. He will let me call him anytime to talk. I felt good about that. He told her what she is doing is wrong, and he will not be apart of it. He will call her to let her know that no more MC for us. He will let her know again what he thinks. She has been checking out some of my infedility websites I had in favorites when I went to bed. She deleted many of them too. I did not keep this website in favorites. So I am good there. I know better. I was very happy afterall. She is becoming more and more agitated with me lately. I don't know why.

The kids said, "we will not go to Vegas unless we all go." Wife said with the situation the way it is it will be no fun.

I will have fun no matter what. I am having a good day so far. I hate the closer it is to her being home these days. I don't how she will be.

That is my update so far. I will post to as many of you as possible this weekend. Have a great evening everyone!!!

[LSG]

Lately I just get this sick feeling when I think about my W and M. I am doing my best to DB and work on myself. I just see nothing changing. It only seems worse. I just feel that the M is moving closer to D everyday. What else could I do to keep the big D from happening and help to keep my family together.

I meet with OMW tomorrow. She does not seem to want to let her H know that we are communicating. I will respect that. I just need something more to do. I will show her my intel without giving it to her. I need to keep it for me at this point.

Well I don't have more to add... I just need to know what I should discuss tomorrow with the OMW.

[LSG]

Tonight W came home at 6 pm which is very early for her. I wonder why. Same bad attitude. She let my son ride his scooter to a school international food festival that I told he could not. She let him sleep in our bed again which I told he could not. She does everything opposite of what I tell the kids. It is so irritating. She is so rude. I just cannot stand it. I do my best not to fight, but I do tell her that it is wrong to let him doing something that I told him no to already. My daughter gets mad because she cannot. It is my bed too. She is so disrespectful me.

I do not know how to deal with this situation because it so makes me angry, but to get angry does not seem to be the DBing way.

The kids do not listen or respect either one of us now. It is just awful how poorly they act, and how they pit us against each other. This is not good for them, and it will affect them when they are older. She does not understand that. She does it to make me miserable. She is also making the kids against each other.

She does not get it!!!

[DaddyLongShanks]

Tonight W came home at 6 pm which is very early for her. I wonder why. Same bad attitude. She let my son ride his scooter to a school international food festival that I told he could not. She let him sleep in our bed again which I told he could not. She does everything opposite of what I tell the kids. It is so irritating. She is so rude. I just cannot stand it. I do my best not to fight, but I do tell her that it is wrong to let him doing something that I told him no to already. My daughter gets mad because she cannot. It is my bed too. She is so disrespectful me.

I do not know how to deal with this situation because it so makes me angry, but to get angry does not seem to be the DBing way.

The kids do not listen or respect either one of us now. It is just awful how poorly they act, and how they pit us against each other. This is not good for them, and it will affect them when they are older. She does not understand that. She does it to make me miserable. She is also making the kids against each other.

She does not get it!!!

Ruleset here concerning kids. Me and my wife run into these "contention" problems from time to time. See I am having a hard time controlling them, she is not really listening to me - so I can be in the middle of disciplining the children and she will over talk me. The kids look to their mother and then it messes up what I was doing. Like you sometimes she will switch it or allow what I was disallowing. I explained it to her, but she wasn't hearing me because its been going on for a couple of years. I think in front of the marriage counselor she will hear it.

Rudeness is likely due to the empowerment on cheating on you. She doesn't have to listen to you, nor respect you and it shows in the actions, tone of voice, etc. Was this different before you knew about affairs?

[LSG]

Her attitude was not like this before the affair. It is progressively becoming worse. She just doe not give a sh!t it seems about what I think. She go the opposite of what I think just to P!ss me off. It does not work as much these days, because I do not get too angry. Only sometimes.

[LSG]

My son was asleep, so I just went and put him back in his bed. She asked what time it was, but I just left to do my thing and did not answer.

Also I have been taking her to work since I work a temporary position, but she does not want me to pick her up. So I don't.

She does not want to go anywhere with me period anymore. She goes when the kids ask. I am glad when she does not go these days because she is so irritating and rude.