Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

[james217]

I will say this.

when s3's biomom treated him like [censored] on his bday and he didn't get one single present or a cake and she lied to him?

this same WAW was there to grab him in her arms and he ran to her and cried and cried telling his "mama" (waw) to hug him.

She took him to chuckee cheese bought him a slew of gifts and spent all day with him and me. And then we had him for the month after that.

When I needed to go out of town for blind training she kept him. When I was in school she watched him everyday.

His biomom did not call him one single time.

Whenever i have been sick WAW was there for me.

It's been the same with s10.

She loves the heck out of her two sons. She misses her daughter too. That's enough to drive any woman insane. She has shown more love and affectino for our two sons than their own biomoms do.

when WAW had a seizure and was in the hospital all day and in a coma for hours. s3 was there holding her hand and crying saying for mama to wake up. He didn't want to watch any cartoons. He didn't play with any toys. He even tried to give her his stuffed animal and his juice so she could feel better and be happy. Just talking about this crap makes me cry

It is driving me crazy. I want to see my freaking kids.

That's why it's so hard for me to turn my back on her. She keeps telling me she's not the same person and she's trying to find her way back. That not seeing the kids is destroying her. It's destryoing me too.
I don't know how much longer I can take this

The only way we got through all of this was with each other.
I really have got to stop talking about this. It's too damn painful.

I feel like just throwing something right now or boxing in a ring. I'm very frustrated.

I have to get some rest. Work in the morning and go say and prayer and then probably cry. This shyt is getting to me and it's hard to talk about the kids in detail. It hurts too much