Okay, craziness. At therapy today my therapist told me to investigate attachment theory. She wanted me to look at it to prepare for the baby, but she was red-flagged, I think, when I talked about how much I wanted a boy and not a girl. And how girls are too needy, blah blah blah. So she seemed concerned and told me to look it up.
So I did. And low and behold, I found myself:
Dismissive-avoidant attachment
People with a dismissive style of avoidant attachment tend to agree with these statements: "I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me." People with this attachment style desire a high level of independence. The desire for independence often appears as an attempt to avoid attachment altogether. They view themselves as self-sufficient and invulnerable to feelings associated with being closely attached to others. They often deny needing close relationships. Some may even view close relationships as relatively unimportant. Not surprisingly, they seek less intimacy with relationship partners, whom they often view less positively than they view themselves. Investigators commonly note the defensive character of this attachment style. People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (i.e., their relationship partners).
Did you catch that last sentence? No wonder it's so easy for me to NC and detach!
I don't even know what to do with this info, but I guess I'll figure it out in therapy. So interesting!
Also, I found WH. He is fearful-avoidant attachment.
