Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I called h today because i needed to find out if he had the mortgage money, and also because the last time we talked i was angry and didn't want him to have that as the last memory of conversing with me. h asked me when i was getting the alarm for our house, and how i did with my class. He was very glad i did good. He sometimes had an arrogant attitude during the conversation, which always bothered me. he usually gets this attitude when he has been talking to this one friend of his that i dislike, because he is an arrogant, never married, policemen. No offense to policemen but sometimes they can have huge egos. He also seems to get angry alot. Maybe he's angry at himself for the problems he has caused. Although I know it was both of us who were at fault, but no excuse for infidelity..His anger also could be because of the big financial loss his business took. I said "why are you getting angry" and he said kind of nice" I don't want to argue". Whenever i try to end our calls he gets angry because he wants to continue talking. but i know it is good to keep it short and i end the call, not him. At the end of our 4 min conversation, he said in a caring voice "have a nice day, be careful.", like he use to. I know I shouldnt try to figure him out. I have to focus on my own life. I have to set a new goal since im done with the class now. I called the red cross and animal shelter to volunteer, but they didnt call me back yet.
Congratulation on your test!!! And congratulations on taking your next steps to set a new goal!! Keep me posted on how that goes, OK?
Remember, getting a life and doing more for yourself has so many positive impacts - on you, your son, and how you relate with your h. Keep it going!!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Thanks so much for your message. I am feeling depressed today.I hope I can find some work. I don't like having alot of free time. It gives me time to think about h and i dont want to. I never hear from h.He is so busy and obsessed with his business he probably never thinks of me and our son. I have an appt. with my christian counselor today that always makes me feel better.
He is so busy and obsessed with his business he probably never thinks of me and our son.
This may be true; this may not be. But there really is no value in trying to figure out what he is thinking.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
i went to pick up h dog tonight and we talked for a few minutes and he gave me a kiss. i dont know what he is thinking. Im suppose to go to attorney tomorrow to arrange to have our assets divided legally. im really depressed about having to go there. I dont have the money for it either. He wants a $7000.00 retainer.
1000 ships, I am feeling very depressed. i called h and told him i saw information about pregancy test kit on his computer. i feel like i can't take anymore.
I am feeling very depressed. i called h and told him i saw information about pregancy test kit on his computer. i feel like i can't take anymore.
It’s a lot to take. So let’s look at something else. What can you take? What is happening that you can handle? Consider one thing at a time. It might be that each little thing on its own is manageable, but being hit with so many things simultaneously has you floundering.
It is time that you do some things for yourself. After you read the posts on your thread, leave the computer and do a few things. I will start a list of ideas, choose all, several or only a few.
Take a hot bath—with potpourri, oils or smelling salts if possible. OR if you have a hottub, go soak.
You jog regularly. Find the runner’s high.
Go for a walk—preferably a nature walk in a quiet setting with greenery.
Sit. Meditate. Set a timer for at least 10-15 minutes and turn off the phone. Find a comfortable pillow to sit on—or lie down flat. Use this time to listen to God. Practice deliberate breathing. Focus on your body.
Yoga class.
Journal—by hand.
Art projects. Paint, beading, collage; home art projects and redecorating. Make a memory box. Make a box for your prayers. Sculpt something.
Some of those take planning, but not all.
So what can you handle? You are depressed. Well, can you handle feeling just a little Blue? Maybe that would be okay? What do you do when you feel Blue? Do you dismiss your feelings, embrace your feelings or feel sorry for yourself and become worse? Let’s try embracing. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel upset and even angry. Allow yourself to feel everything God brings—do that in your meditation.
This is your time. It is for you and God. Think of it as a Sabbath. No phone calls, emails, texts… There is no one else.
Do you drink tea? Chamomile? If so, make yourself a cup of tea—avoid caffeine.
After you have taken your Sabbath, you may call a friend. Call someone who will listen without criticizing. Someone who is good for a Hug.
We’re going to take this gradually, okay? We are breaking down the big chunks into more manageable bites. Every day, take a Sabbath of at least 15 minutes, longer is okay—a few hours is okay, but at least 15 minutes.
I have to go out of town for a funeral and will be gone for a few days. But everyone else is here for you too. Just check in, post an update and listen to the feedback and get your fill up of Hugs. I will check on you when I get back.
You are going to take care of yourself, one little bit at a time.
I had an emotional break down this morning, and I called h and said i was going to end up in the hospital that i couldn't live like this anymore, after seeing info from his web history. He said "i dont know what your talking about. I am not doing any of that.. I am taking care of you and me and Ryan nobody else". I know i have to change my focus to GAL or i'm going to lose my mind. Im going through a difficult time at this time in my life physiologically, and it makes this more difficult to deal with. I don't know if this is a MLC or he just wants out of m. It seems like he is trying to run away from himself so he doesnt have to face things. . He seems like hes lost his mind.
