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(((Aver)))),
1st off, great job on the half marathon! It almost makes me want to take up running! Almost!

Now I HAVE to get on the alt to see your uber-cute skirt!

Wow, I am more convinced than ever we are living parallel lives! Actually H told me when dropping the bomb that his feelings had been gone for a loong time, years even!! I tried desparately pin him down, when?? When did it happen? 3 - 4 years(!)maybe, he couldn't say. THAT was a killer. Even now, remembering it, it just claws my heart. B/c of course, I had no idea my M was in grave danger.

Do I blame myself? Yes, but not as bad I as did early on.

I would go back & look at my happy emails from him sent the week before, the day before, "I love you" blah blah blah. Remember our recent trip etc. I couldn't get my head around it.

And, like you our sex life was lacking, I am LD. And he brought this up during the bomb! But he NEVER I mean never, did before. So I just figured he was LD too. A poor excuse I realize now, believe I beat myself up good over this. This is how I know there was/is an A, b/c as you know he has yet to admit it.

Yes, & others here have posted that WAS are often unhappy/plotting their escape a long time before they bomb us w the news. But like you, I never had a chance. No counseling, no discussion (except for the 4+ hour bomb session & a few nasty/crying arguments after) no nothin. No way no how, he was just done. He left within 2 weeks of bomb & that was it.

Aver, are you sure we weren't separated at birth?

There was an OW, (which I couldn't even consider at 1st) & like you don't think anything I could have done would have mattered.

I am glad the ADs are helping. I was resistant to them - dr. gave me a prescription in July, I wouldn't take them til Sept.

They are certainly not a cure all, & of course I still feel sad at times but how they helped me was in keeping the uncontrollable tears in check. Kind of hard to work/function when you never know when a breakdown will hit.

Sorry to post such a long one - guess I'm making up for lost time! You sound great - keep us posted on this dr. Wishing all good things for you this week, will check back soon. (((Hugs))))