Maybe I didn't blow it?

[james217]

Aight I'll respond to your sitch first. Knight's is going to take a little more thinking.

I've read what robx, gucci and everyone is saying and what you're saying.

I know where you're coming from. Trust me I do. I hear alot of the same things you are hearing from WAW.

Yet we have ML several times and she's affectionate and is planning to do something on my bday.

Remember this this sitch is not all your fault. I'm pretty sure there are things about WAW that have lead to your M being in the state that it's in.

I'm glad she's open to counseling.

The ML screwed with your head. I know it did. It probably confused the heck out of both of you.

The consistent conversations and light chi chat is making you analyze the motives behind it.

Take it one conversation, encounter, day at a time. What you are doing is making her pursue.

I agree with the vets. What you are doing is making her pursue you so why change that?

I look at it like this. The thing she is resenting you for are going to take time for her to heal from.

It makes her angry that she felt she had to leave for you to change.

Give her space. Don't crowd her. You'll make her run. Don't answer every call or text. I don't think you should back out on the plans you've set.

You're panicking too. You want a sure thing that if you do these dates then you won't get hurt or lose her.

Trust me I know what that feels like.

Have you set boundaries? Are you enforcing them? You are trying to do what I used to try and do. Understand my WAW and analyze things logically. that is not going to work.

She also is going to question your motives (either outright or in her own mind) when you apply your db principles and the changes that "seem" to be there because she's going to only think you are doing them to get her back and then they will stop.

I mean it's only been a week since you guys have started talking again. Just take it slow. Stick to your guns. Listen to the vets. If it's not broke don't try to fix it.

When I got my new job WAW stated how much happier I seem. How her life is a mess. How old she feels. All of these miserable things.

She is wondering why you are not falling apart.

She is confused and scared about everything. Did she make the right decision? Are you really changing? Will she end up hurt? Was MLing a mistake? You have to keep working on you and giving her space.

Rome wasn't rebuilt in a day after nero set it on fire. Give it some time.