What does your attny say about all of this? I am curious as to why you are not getting counsel with the CPS issue since you said you had an attny help with the first issue you had with your W.
IMO based on what you have shared your first priority needs to be your child. It really doesn't matter what issues your W has. You have a little girl in foster care that needs to be out of there. I guess I don't understand why your W's wishes would take precedent over a child being in foster care?
Your W has many, many problems it seems and IMO DB'ing just won't be enough in this case. You both need intense IC I think before you can even think about anything other than your daughter.
Your W attacked you and violated orders. It was a direct consequence for her bad choices and actions.
What does your attny say about all of this? I am curious as to why you are not getting counsel with the CPS issue since you said you had an attny help with the first issue you had with your W.
IMO based on what you have shared your first priority needs to be your child. It really doesn't matter what issues your W has. You have a little girl in foster care that needs to be out of there. I guess I don't understand why your W's wishes would take precedent over a child being in foster care?
Your W has many, many problems it seems and IMO DB'ing just won't be enough in this case. You both need intense IC I think before you can even think about anything other than your daughter.
Your W attacked you and violated orders. It was a direct consequence for her bad choices and actions.
THanks for stepping in MS. C.G.
I was pretty much going to say the same thing. You need to get A LAWYER. I cannot stress this enough man. The clock is ticking.
If you do the services and W does not then you will have a good shot at getting your D back. Why would you allow her to stay in foster care with strangers instead of family? You may even get monitored visits until your cps case is closed.
When you have the hearing? You need to get a copy of the cps report. Heck if they already had an emergency summons then there is information in your cps file that your ATTORNEY WILL NEED in order to help represent you.
my WAW just signed away the rights to my stepdaughter to SD8's paternal grandmother. THen she walked away from her two step sons and her H.
She is NOT thinking logically so why the heck does it matter what she thinks? You have an innocent little girl man.
Good you're going to the I.C.! was that a referral from CPS? Did they give you a plan with services for a reconciliation attempt?
I promise you if you let WAW make all the decisions then you are going to lose your D.
Then what if WAW decides to D you? Once cps takes your rights away and finds her a permanent family (standard time for this to occur is a year if they can find someone) then it's over.
Your WAW is extremely violent and angry and spinning out of control right now.
Someone has to have a level head and that someone needs to be YOU
1) obtain current cps report 2) contact lawyer 3) obtain referral for cps services 4) find suitable temporary guardian for D 5) prepare for hearing 6) avoid WAW for awhile until things change and settle down
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
I'm not going to weigh in on the legal side of things because I'm not a lawyer. However...I do practice medicine and I'm here to tell you that the nurse-maid's elbow is sooooo incredibly common it's not even a "red flag" in the ER. CPS has gone overboard...big time.
They call it "Nurse-maid's elbow" because it was first noticed with nannys (nurse-maids) who were picking kids up by their arm to lift them onto street curbs, stairs, etc. The child's radius is not fully formed and it can slip out from underneath a ligament that holds it in place near the elbow. It is fixed in a 3 second manipulation and the kid is usually back to normal before I can finish the discharge paperwork.
Get some expert medical info on Nurse-maid's and shut CPS down right out of the gate.
If you were talking about spiral fractures, broken bones, etc I'd say CPS is doing the right thing. But..nursemaids??!? Way over the top.
Hang in there, Buddy. I feel your pain..
the nurses elbow is not really that bad. the two violent situations are extremely bad. Cps will probably try to say the nurses elbow occured due to neglect and abuse because if there is violence like that occuring between the parents then the D is in danger.
KNIGHT has got to complete those cps reconciliation services or this could get really ugly
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
I have had a lawyer was just waiting for advice and to make sure W's brother could not do it. W seems to be of the mindset if she cannot have DD no one can.
I have my decision. I am going to have him file an emergency motion to the court for a hearing. My sister is stepping up to take my D in.
WAW is not in her right mind I agree. It is just so hard when you love some one so much and there is nothing you can do about it.
I just hope that there is some way things could work between us later, and well I agree IC is needed before DB.
I really just want to believe in my heart that there is hope for us as a family one day once she gets the help she needs. I just fear resentment from her.
I will update soon.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
I have had a lawyer was just waiting for advice and to make sure W's brother could not do it. W seems to be of the mindset if she cannot have DD no one can.
I have my decision. I am going to have him file an emergency motion to the court for a hearing. My sister is stepping up to take my D in.
WAW is not in her right mind I agree. It is just so hard when you love some one so much and there is nothing you can do about it.
I just hope that there is some way things could work between us later, and well I agree IC is needed before DB.
I really just want to believe in my heart that there is hope for us as a family one day once she gets the help she needs. I just fear resentment from her.
I will update soon.
I understand man. Its not easy.
just hang in there
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
Update, W emailed me and ask that I not pursue trying to get DD out of foster care before our court date on the 20th. She said that this was going to " rock the boat " and she did not want D hopping from home to home.
I think the mentality is " if she cannot have her daughter, then no one in my family or her family can. " She claims to have met the foster family and that they live near where she is staying which I do not know for sure.
I had been talking to her mom before I made the decision to have my ATTY file this motion, because I felt if her W's brother and Wife could step in that it would seem like i am not against her and also I would trust them.
She seems to think that 100 percent certain she will regain custody on the 20th, which she may, but to leave our DD 1 yr old in foster care any longer then she needs to be hurts me to my core.
All in all I do wish for reunification of the Family, but I do not understand her thinking, it could only be from the HAZE that I caused everything from her getting arrested to CPS getting involved. To her everything she does is right and everyone else is wrong.
My Lawyer is pursuing this hard now.
I also had my 1st IC session today, and explained the situation, he seems like he may be able to help me work through issues with anger and conflict resolution which I do admit I need help with.
So many times I could have walked I suppose during arguments but I fed into the flames and argued back to the point of no return. Never again, I will resolve to better myself be a better Father and focus on whats good.
Reading posts from Puppy, Gucci, have really helped. I think sometimes I was just to wishy washy, lazy, indecisive with W, and she made that a big concern along with weight gain and not being active enough.
In the end I do hope for reconcilliation and to have my family back, but I guess I have to endure the Court enforced darkness and getting my DD out of foster care for now.
If anyone can offer any guidance or prayer or help to my sitch I would certainly appreciate it.
M 36 W 29 Together 2 1/2 years married 14 months Daughter 15 months Bomb 4/22/10 Separated since 4/25/10 OM 6/10/10 Hopeful, but moving on
