What am I supposed to say that wouldn't sound like I'm trying to control him or get him to make some kind of declaration of his intentions?
I would tell him what your boundaries are at this point, you're allowed to have some, you know! If boinking is off limits now (I'm assuming here) you tell him you aren't comfortable with that right now. You don't have to explain, it is what it is. Taking care of yourself is not controlling someone else, it is showing self respect. It concerns me that you are so concerned with how he will perceive your intention...who cares. If he really is interested in pursuing a new relationship he will respect those boundaries, if not then you know where this is going.
