Bobbi Jo, I appreciate you taking the time to write me.
It is true I don't want to stop the performance group. I don't see how taking away recreation from the both of us would be helpful.
I don't think I'm afraid of pushing her away. How much worse can things get? I'm not convinced it's the right approach. I'm still sorting thru options. I'm confused.
I need to take a different approach than I have in the past. I was hoping that increasing positive connection would be enough. I was wrong. I've taken a GAL approach in the past, which has done wonders for me personally, but hasn't resolved relatonal problems. I understand now that patience in itself does not solve problems. It merely buys you time. I think of how the president helped to pass health reform thru his sheer will. It's going to take a similar approach.
I haven't really fought for the M. I haven't looked into the basement, walked into the lion's, walked thru fire, looked into the underbelly of the beast. Naej thinks that my W is trying to prompt me into being a husband. She may be right.
It doesn't mean that I sweep things under the rug, or ignore my emotions. I need to be honest with myself and my W. My W wants to continue to connect, and I have to figure-out what to do with that.
Whatever approach I choose, it must be a stretch for me, and must involve me doing it in spite of fear. It will involve facing difficult conversations, setting boundaries, speaking-up when I need to, and having a presence in this.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
