I'd like to think people's attitude of infidelity being a fault in the marriage or in the betrayed spouse is just plain ignorance. The media, movies, books, Gossip and reality TV reinforce this perception. WS's use this perception to explain their affair and people relate to cuz they have seen it in a movie.
"Oh, His needs weren't being met...poor guy had to find a girlfriend. Just like Bridges of Madison Co!"
"Yeah, her H was a tyrant. She had to find Love somewhere. I saw it on Lifetime."
"WS and OW are really good people in a bad situation. Too bad it happened TO THEM" !!
We need a new thread on "dumb things people have said to me after exposure"!!!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
I agree totally.When my H A was exposed, the men in his work said to the mature females who were disgusted'leave the boy alone he's in love'. Was he hell in love.He was thrown out because he hurt his wife and 2 girls beyond levels never experienced..why have mutton when you can have lamb?? It is disgusting.If any of these people had to walk a mile in our shoes they would change their views pretty quickly. Show them how our children have made themselves sick with crying, sobbing as if they had been violated..its beyonds words..I wouldnt torture my worst enemy with infidelity.
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
Oh guys, these stories..these affairs...it's heartbreaking. True to form, I have sent another lengthy and respectful email outlining why I think the A is central to our problems. Too bad - at least I know I tried and if it is in writing, they can always chose to look back at it one day. These are good people, but as has just been stated, unless you walk in our shoes and sob like we sob and our children sob, there is no way to empathise. As for the Romance section of the DVD shop - boycotting it forever!
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
She is, however, at the moment, your #1 obstacle, and this other couple is just enabling your husband's poor choices right now to not try to work on his marriage, unencumbered.
My H has no firends apart from 1 that he sees irregularly.She has no friends and it 'appears' that they are consoling each other.Not sure whats worse? The 1st thing my H said was'thats why I have not been sleeping'.He wouldnt have breathing if I hadnt controlled my temper..lifted a vase but threw it at the wall.He tried to get away over the bed but it was a tempur mattress so forgot he wouldnt'bounce'..the vision..I can laugh at the scene now but at the time I came close to wanting to kill him...we need to find reasons to smile to guys.. We all need that from time to time...
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
Piano, Here's a quote from Psy Today. "The better the marriage, the saner and more sensible the spouse, the more alienated the romantic is likely to feel. Romantic affairs happen in good marriages even more often than in bad ones."
She is, however, at the moment, your #1 obstacle, and this other couple is just enabling your husband's poor choices right now to not try to work on his marriage, unencumbered.
Puppy
Good distinction, thanks.
He just doesn't want to work on the marriage.
It's over for him.
I wish I had a God to hand him over to, like you did your wife.
