I think every human being on the planet needs hope. Without it what would we have? Unfortunately though there are times in life when we have to keep our home *somewhere* while making rational decisions for self protection.
This holds especially true in a divorce situation (IMO). It is one thing to say "I'm done" or make a clear statement that you want out. It is something else to put your family in harms way and force them to go without the basics ESPECIALLY when there are children involved.
When certain legal things happen, then yes, pursuit of any kind can open up a can of worms that can be very, very bad. Sometimes once legal proceedings begin or are set to begin we (general we) have to do things according to the plan of an attny, not a DB'ing plan. It is NOT an easy place to be.
While a book or pursuit might not "chase him off" his past behaviors when things do not go how he likes have been, well, let's just say not good. So it's not so much about not chase him off but reducing the stress for Luv and her children.
While I hardly ever agree with what you say I do think it is very good you remain hopeful and you try in the best way you can to communicate. But much of what you advice is pursuit and really can make things worse.
