tired of trying...

[beingreal]

Just thought I'd put this here...it's my response to a poster who thinks his W may be having an A because of her actions...

Fact is (for me) the only person I'm interested in right now...is me. I read DB in early September & started doing just what PEI said--GAL, worked on me, did 180s, stopped waiting on my H to be happy before I decided to be happy. But no A. No OM. No inappropriate discussions with any man (or woman, as he even suggested last week). Just...me.

I started working out because I felt gross, I needed new clothes because I'd not gotten myself anything in *years*--I was always taking care of everyone else. I bought new undies because my old ones were just that--old. TMI alert--I was still wearing nursing bras even though I hadn't nursed in over a year and a half. I even made a show of the pretty stuff to H, even though he didn't seem all that interested.

I spent time on the computer because I spent so much time at work or working at home that the computer was the only place to connect with anyone for support. And goodness knows he didn't want to talk to me. I was on Facebook, but not in contact with old boyfriends. I even blocked one man who sent me a friend request because he was a serial cheater--if he didn't respect his own marriage, why would he respect mine? A friend of mine from high school called me every few months, a platonic guy friend, very platonic. But I asked him not to because it was upsetting to H--and guy friend understood & stopped. Even though it was very innocent it was hurtful to H & I respected that.

I had my facebook account open--he could read every thing I did & everyone I talked to. I had my email open--I had nothing to hide (until he decided that the crap from dating sites in the junk mail box was real & I MUST have joined up for dating sites. That's when I closed it.)

I stopped wanting contact with H because he was always in a bad mood, he complained about everything in life to the point he literally sucked the life out of me. I never refused sex, he just slowed way down on initiating it. After a while of him acting like that--I didn't care enough to put the moves on him.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that my H could have written your post. And he'd have found the same thing you did...nothing.

Some times just because something acts like a duck & quacks like a duck doesn't mean it's a duck. Maybe it's a goose who is finding that acting like a goose just isn't working anymore.

Signed,
The lonely goose who can't even wrap her brain around the notion of being a duck.

My GAL and 180s led me to here...not much better for the M, but I'm a better person for it. *sigh* Maybe one day I'll actually feel like it.