Arguing is, ultimately, a "control" thing. When you are REACTIVE in your relationships, you give the other person control. When you DON'T react, to things that are urgent to THEM at the moment, or when they're merely trying to "fight-pick," and instead are PROACTIVE about things that are important to YOU, you gain back CONTROL of your own life and happiness.
There will be a time, if and when your husband decides he wants to fully commit to your marriage, when you can place a much higher priority on his concerns. But in his current state, he's not to be trusted and not to be responded to unless it's about the kids.
