Not sure which way to go anymore

[Mystik]

I'm aching to contact H, beg him to reconsider and come back to me. But I know that would be counterproductive. I am exhausted, still feel so drained mentally and emotionally. Still hoping for my therapist to call with an appointment later today or tomorrow. I'm still crying on and off, mostly off thankfully. I just can't comprehend how he could hurt me so much.