I'd expose her before I put her out. Putting her out would be several weeks after she's exposed. The exposure is to OM wife,who will hopefully wake him up from the hell she's going to put to him.
Definately don't threaten her on it.
Think your plan out and how she will react, and how you respond to it. Think ahead.
The OM's wife knows very well about this sitch now. Months ago, she had her head in the sand about it, but has been trying to DB like me for months now. She is using a program called Marriage Fitness. We occasionally talk about about the situation and strategies.
I could expose to more church members and more family members. I'm sure my wife would hit the ceiling. Her mother is ill and already reeling from my wife's sister's separation.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
The affair burst is planned like a mob hit on several important members.
I would probably give the wife the confidence and ammo she needs to do what she's going to do, and you then hit the others.
The wife will hit some on her side, you guys plan it together. I think it is done so its cheaper for the OM to let go. Either way if they leave you guys, your not holding weight for someone who doesn't want to be with you.
This sounds interesting. How do I "give the wife the confidence and ammo to do what she's going to do"? Do you mean help her find a place to stay? Pardon my confusion. And how do I "hit the others"? (you mean exposure?) And how can I make this costly for the OM?
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
You and the other mans wife have to plan it out. Thats all I'm saying, the timing, etc. See she's going to do alot himself, and hopefully it will bring him back home. But who ever else you expose to, both of you need to be aware of the timing.
My church has a business meeting tonight and I think they're going to ask me to be an elder again, but I was thinking about saying in front of everybody something like, "It's really hard to focus when [OM] is having an affair with my wife." Is that a bad idea?
My wife is trying to be kind to me in the house, but I haven't touched her in over a week. She cooked a nice meal for me yesterday and has been doing a lot of cleaning. Should I confront her again about whether or not she is talking to the OM? If she is, should I try to persuade her to leave?
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
My church has a business meeting tonight and I think they're going to ask me to be an elder again, but I was thinking about saying in front of everybody something like, "It's really hard to focus when [OM] is having an affair with my wife." Is that a bad idea?
I'm not sure what's going on with my wife right now - if she is talking with the OM or not. Should I ask her? What do I do if she is still talking with him?
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
I'm not sure what's going on with my wife right now - if she is talking with the OM or not. Should I ask her? What do I do if she is still talking with him?
Asked and answered, dozens of times, by different folks and in different ways, upthread.
I thought you were going to give it a week or two of DBing at home? Regardless, I know we agreed that repeatedly "asking" her was pursuing. Wait for confirmation and then enforce your boundary. NO pursuing. NO insecurity. You have an opportunity here to do a 180 on that! Use it!!!
NO R TALK. NO M TALK. NO A TALK. Get tape for your mouth if you must!!!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
