Find your voice. Stomp that yard. All that crap.

[BobbiJo]

So we reviewed things tonight in preparation for Wednesday's talk...

The irony is that I called the kids at 8:40 to say goodnight and got voicemail. They called back at 9:05...I said goodnight and all that jazz.

Dan texts me right after: "The kids will be in bed by 9:45. I mean good and asleep by then..."

So at 9:45 I get another text..."Sydney still up"...then at 9:55, "Just came back out from her room"...

And he wonders why the kids were up at my house at ten???

So I go over at 10:30 and we reviewed the plan. We are going to tell them that we love them very much, will always be their mommy and daddy, but that we aren't going to be married anymore. And we will tell them that Daddy decided he didn't want to be married to mommy anymore...we are going to tell them as though it is just happening now. It is only a difference of two months and I just cannot tell Nathan we misled him on top of him finding out that his parents are divorcing. ...

I told him that as I did not plan on ever being alone with him again, as there would be no reason, I wanted him to tell me openly that he hated me instead of hiding behind email. I don't really care if it was smart, I wanted to know. He said no, he did not actually hate me he hated the situation. It shouldn't matter to me but it did.


So tomorrow is my day with the kids and we will spend the evening at home. I want them to have one more nice night before we tell them. I hope that Sydney's birthday this weekend is not so close to the event that she associates the two on her birthday as she grows older...but I can't see putting it off any longer. We tell them Wednesday.

Oh I also went and signed up for another session of boot camp tonight. Found out my body fat percentage--yikes! But hey it can only get better, I hope! Way too much emotional eating during the last class, since it came in late winter as I was finalizing the divorce...

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((BobbiJo)))))
I am a stress eater, too. No LBS diet for me!

[Lotus]

Well, I hate him!

[BobbiJo]

Jeff, me neither. I gain weight when I am sad and tend to lose a little when I am happy...

Lotus I appreciate that...you can hate him bc try as I may, I haven't been able to...he is my kids' dad regardless...

[Kalni]

I told him that as I did not plan on ever being alone with him again, as there would be no reason, I wanted him to tell me openly that he hated me instead of hiding behind email. I don't really care if it was smart, I wanted to know. He said no, he did not actually hate me he hated the situation. It shouldn't matter to me but it did.

Huh??? WTF? Sis, you are probably one of the most stuborn persons I have met. Wasting your saliva Bbj..,
K

[AliSuddenly]

Well how he can say in an email he "hates" you is beyond belief. How could he say that to the mother of his children when you have been so accomodating and reasonable in all of this?? You havent gone mental, tore up his clothes, had a catfight with any of the ow, poured acid on his car, badmouthed him to your kids, taken out an ad in the daily paper saying "Dan is an assh*le".

Just beggars belief and well done on being so 'together' to just reply about the kids. Good luck with that bbj,
xxx

[NNP1965]

(((BBJ)))

[ernest88]

you are enabling him..

if you want the kids to know then tell them.

you do not need "permission" or his "blessing"..

The kids don't have to have you both there to get the news..

until you make your relationship with Dan strictly 'about the kids" then it will continue to be what it is and you will spin...you will also spin in your other R's as well..

I can't beleive you actually sought empathy or validation from Dan that he hates you..

your attitude should be... "i could really give a flying F*** if you hate me or not"

at some point you have top stand up and not take their chitt...

[BobbiJo]

Thanks everyone for weighing in.

It is a character flaw of mine, that I am already aware of, that I am extremely uncomfortable when I feel that others do not like me. Even if I don't like someone, I hate knowing that they don't like me!? I have gotten better when it comes to people on the edges of my life, but obv still need work when it comes to people closer to me...

We are telling the kids together tomorrow. If he gives any reason not to at this point, then I will tell them myself.

[mishka422]

BBJ, honey, STOP ENGAGING THAT MAN! Was it really necessary to meet with him to discuss what you were going to tell the kids? Couldn't that have been accomplished in an email just as easily as he spewed at you? Don't talk to him, don't see him, kid exchanges should be a brief at the door thing and nothing else. You need to put up a LOT of boundaries with this man or you will backslide into convo with him and he will continue to poke at you. Stop giving him valuable BBJ access!