you are enabling him..

if you want the kids to know then tell them.

you do not need "permission" or his "blessing"..

The kids don't have to have you both there to get the news..

until you make your relationship with Dan strictly 'about the kids" then it will continue to be what it is and you will spin...you will also spin in your other R's as well..

I can't beleive you actually sought empathy or validation from Dan that he hates you..

your attitude should be... "i could really give a flying F*** if you hate me or not"

at some point you have top stand up and not take their chitt...