Well no real updates. My W and I have been getting along really well with open communication. Still don't understand why she can't stay in the spare room, but hey.
She said she wants to take things slow, and get to know each other again. She envisions us dating again.
I'm letting her stay here with the girls this weekend. It doesn't make much sense because we'll be together during the day. She wants us to spend the day together working on the trailer, then go shopping for pajamas for D4 and then dinner.
This situation really sucks. I like that we get along and enjoy it when we're together, but I don't understand the not sleeping in the same house. It's not like I asked her to sleep in the same bed as me. Maybe she's afraid she'll rape me..............lol
Anyway, I'll let you guys know how the weekend goes. I know I'm going to a friends house tomorrow for a crawfish boil.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
Well the weekend is over and I'm back home with the kids, and confused as hell.
We hung out all weekend as a family and it was her idea. Things were great and even she text and commented to me how well things went. However, at the end of every day we went our separate ways. We can spend the days together, but not the night.
She said sher needs a chance to process how well the weekend went, and she might not be able to do it this week. She wants to come over after work tonight so her and I can do bills, and then Wednesday during my C appointment.
She told me that everytime we talk it makes her feel better and she likes the progress. She told me the other day that she wants to just kiss me sometimes or come home and put things behind us. She also said that the time frame for us to be under the same roof or date isn't as long as I'm envisioning. She said it could be tomorrow or weeks.
I told her that I thought our old marriage was dead, and that the only for us to be together again is to rebuild and make things better than they were before. I told her I wanted pieces of our old marriage, but I want it improved.
She says she doesn't want to rush things, but I feel that they are going in slow motion. She wants to get to know each other again. I told her that we know each other, 17 1/2 years together will do that, but that we've both made changes that we need to get to know.
All in all we're making baby steps in the right direction, but it's still frustrating the heck out of me. If things are going so well then why can't we stay in our home together, separate bedrooms of course?
She also told me that she wants me to pick a MC for us in the next two weeks.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
lol tbart. Don't throw a damn wrench into the works. I mean, remember where you were not too long ago?
Impatience is one of the number one killers on this board. Why the rush? You've gotten more than you bargained for at this point. I mean, you were overseas complaining how your marriage was over.
Well it aint over is it? You're getting positive signs yet you want to get behind the cart and push the crap out of it. I totally understand, it happens all the time here. But if you push too fast, you'll actually make everything go backwards. Don't bring it up. Just focus on yourself and what you need to do to find your own individual happiness. Keep making the changes you need to make.
You guys are on different paths with different thoughts and different emotions. Allow her to find her own way without you having to steer it. That's control.
The lesson here for you - allow life to unfold. Let go of control. Keep your eyes on you.
Remember where you were not that long ago. It won't be hard - just re-read your threads from the beginning.
And don't stay away from the boards so long..lol. I thought you sank yourself in some quicksand or something.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Steady your correct, but I guess I was just surprised at how well things were going because of how hopeless things seemed.
I expected her to look at things the same way I guess. We have good times together, but seem to always end up on the R talk.
Yesterday was frustrating for me because I had spent the weekend away, and she was once again leaving. She came over after work and sensed the frustration and negativity, so she left. However before she could leave we had the R talk in the driveway.
She's tire of having these talks and wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night. I had asked her to set one day a week for a specific time to have the R talk and she liked the idea. We have MC set up for next week, and that's when we're going to do this.
I don't want to keep having these talks. I actually want a chance to keep spending time together and rebuilding not rehashing.
I know there are going to be hiccups, and yesterday was a hiccup, but she sees it as the same old me even though it wasn't. I need to be patient and stop trying to rush things, but the results were so good so fast that I started to get ahead of myself.
There's times I just want to give up and move o because it's so frustrating, but I can't do that. The fact that shes willing to work on this speaks volumes.
I need to get back to the basics and realize what i did to make things go well. I veared of the path and need to get back on it.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
Actually I've been busy and away from the computer, so I'm sure it may have. Also, I made the mistake of reading things being one way, when she still felt another. She keeps sending me mixed signals and it's confusing.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
