My WAW - Chat/Text Msg affair with her ex

[Dan1977]

Sandi, concerning how I am trying to improve myself, I am trying to react differently to certain situations than I used to. Before I was really up tight about money for example and I would stress pretty easily over relatively little things. I'm trying to be much more laid back now and easy going and in general a more pleasant person to be around. She made comments about my changes and said it was nice. I try to spend as much time with my kids as possible, which that was always easy for me to do since I love them so much. We had a couple date nights 3-4 weeks ago, I took my wife to a nice Italian restaurant and it was real nice. I wanted to spend more quality time with my wife, watching movies together, maybe have a drink every once in a while, we tend to get totally wrapped up with the kids, we don't have our own time, especially since she's sleeping in our daughters room.

Right now she is telling me she doesn't love me and she never did which I keep reading this a very common thing for a WAW to say...I'm hoping this is the case with my W as well and she doesn't really mean it. I'm sure today I made some classic mistakes trying to defend and justify how we did love each other very much. I keep telling her I just want the chance to prove to her I am the man she wants to be with and the greener pastures are in her own home. I know I can't dictate love, so I need to demonstrate I am the man she wants to be with. This would be less of an uphill battle if OM wasn't in the picture because I constantly feel like I'm on trial and she is judging me and Mr Perfect OM wouldn't say or do that, and how he's a better listener or whatever is being examined at that time. What an emotional rollercoaster...