Did you ever get yourself to see a Family therapist (FT)? I remember Allen suggesting that you lead by example and I still agree. You can say all the things to your wife but your actions speak louder than words. I was just reading the part where you said you degraded your wife and sometimes said hurtful things to her. It is VERY hard to earn a womens' trust after saying hurtful things to her over the course of a few years. Once she has her heart closed to you it really takes a lot before a women would put herself in a vulnerable position again to open her heart back up to that man. I am speaking from experience in my own stitch. Now that my husband wants to reconcile I dont trust that he would not go back to saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment. So before I open myself back up to him, I need to see him in therapy learning coping mechanisms before I even cross that path with him.
I see you worried about how she is acting towards you but I wasn't sure if you were showing your wife that YOU can be trusted again with her heart.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
