Hi Puppy and Newmama. This AM I confronted my husband about the text from her. He tried to act confused until I pulled the "I've seen the phone records" card - then he said she texted him about why he was ignoring her. He said he deleted it and that was it. I hadn't laid out what he was to do if she contacted him (thanks for the advice, newmama - I hadn't thought of that), so I let him off the hook. I clearly told him DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING . . . and so if there is another deleted anything, that will count as a backslide. Puppy - I didn't count this as a strike for him because I wasn't clear on this issue. But, if it happens again, it's a strike and I expose. I wonder what else I wasn't clear on. At some point, if I need to be any more clear that just signals that there is an ongoing/continuing problem. I am proud of some new intel methods I discovered. He talks at work on GMAIL chat and one of my biggest issues is that I haven't been able to track his chat. But after signing up for an account myself and learning the software, I've realized it can track the chat conversations. Of course my H knows this too and has set his privacy settings at "do not track" but I just got into his account and changed that. I bet it will be awhile before he catches that. I also, through trial and error, found out that I can log into his gmail while he's logged into the gmail chat and it doesn't affect his usage. I was afraid it would kick him out, but no. So I can check it mid-day from work. Fabulous! My plan is to copy and save anything between him and her and not reveal my intel unless I have something very incriminating. I'm going to try to make myself sit on any contact between him and her for at least a week before EXPOSING. That way, I have the largest chance of gathering intel he can't talk his way around. I hate to say it, but my gut says that I'm going to find conversations between him and her. My sister would say that in thinking this, I'm willing the universe to make this happen (She's read the secret). But, I just think I'm reading the signs of his behavior. Thanks, everyone, for your ongoing support.
