Posted so fast, forgot to say that your sitch sounds just like mine. H is 43, OW is 43, they "reconnected" at HS reunion. He always had a "crush" on her and she "intimidated" him so he never pursued her.
The only thing is that there has been no trauma in H's life, he just went off the deep end. The only trauma I can see is that he feels like he's aging and refuses to let go. He's been saying for as long as I can remember (10 years maybe) that it's not the age, it's the attitude. Over and over and over. He did start buying 80s music again and recently bought 80s style 3/4 length t-shirts that he wears constantly.
Other than the D pending, it sounds like you are doing very well. GAL sounds like it's in the cards... have you communicated to H that you do not want a D and are willing to work on the M still? It's not DB technique, but I believe it's important to say once... just so it's in their subconscious somewhere. Anyone else care to comment on that belief?
