I'm still not sure if exposing to OWH will do anything, and I don't want to give away my hand. H almost asked me last night how I knew what and where he was, but he stopped himself. He knows I know and he is really bothered by it... it's eating him up. He made it clear what he had on his mind by the few words he let slip out. Still praying about this and what I should do. I think if I tell him, without proof, she'll just say I'm trying to pull them into high school games - like her soap opera reference earlier on FB. (Yeah, like I'm the one trying out for a high school soap opera... LOL) If I do it with proof, he'll tell her what I have and she'll tell H, and that will be that. I'm not ready to do that. I'm not even sure that OWH is not a cuckold as Puppy suggested, he may just not care enough to do anything even if she was having sex in front of him. Remember he caught her making out with a man in the basement of a party he was at and all he wanted from her in return was a text when she stayed out all night in the future... duh... the man is nice, but naive for sure.
I'm still so unsure of what *I* want, that I'm just going to hold on to the intel for now - at least my suspicions were confirmed - that's all I needed really. I was vacillating in my last posts b/c it hurt. I expected it but I guess I was hoping he was being honest. He was just so darned earnest that I wanted to believe him. It was a good lesson for me. H is capable of going to any length to cover and lie... just like any addict. (And Saffie, I'm withholding a lot from MIL/FIL now, but I have told them that the big things I will tell them. They needed to know that H was lying to them still, and they can choose to do what they will with the knowledge. They still support me, and FIL is getting fed up. MIL is hurt, as any mother would be. The day to day bs I don't tell them about.)
As for packing his bags, it's too much turmoil for the kids, I'm not making any moves in that direction. DSD is going to my friends house from Wed through Fri to get away from it all, she's fed up with H and wants to be around my friend's children D2 and S5. She loves playing with the kids.
H is still not totally decided on D - as evidenced by his almost constant threats of "I decided I want a D now." - He's said it more times than I can count, as if it weren't already decided. He's using it for control as he thinks it is his best and biggest card to play when I'm not being a good girl and falling in lock step with what he commands me to do, and also repeating it like he's trying to convince himself. He's not ready to do it yet, he's not ready to leave, he doesn't know where he would go and what he would do... and if he files, he pays. I'm not leaving the house, it's in my name and I have told him that I will keep the dogs and the house. What he doesn't know is that at least one, maybe two of the kids will stay with me as well.
I changed my direct deposit today. Next check will go into my individual account. Child support stops there. If he leaves and kids stay with me, he pays me child support just like I was their real mom... I've promised the kids the following: If they have an appointment they need to keep or a ride they need, they need to ask their dad. If he doesn't show up, I will make myself available. DSS15 knows dad is unreliable and has arranged for a ride for his Mon night activity from a friend. I won't make them suffer, even though in a way, H is getting the benefit from me catching him when he falls. If these kids weren't already distraught over what their mom just pulled on them, I'd be more likely to leave them to H's hands... but they're destroyed already, no sense in taking away the one adult in their lives that is reliable. I need to provide some stability.
On a different note, the twin's 16th bday is next Monday and H has not planned or mentioned ANYTHING about it yet. Sigh, DSD has been planning it for a year, it's a big deal to her. DSS just wants to go to a few movies with friends. I'll just give him some money and I get cheap tickets at work, and he can go treat his friends at the food court and a movie.
