Very peaceful day today. I got to work with a small group of adults and do some crisis training with them. They were an attentive, responsive group of people, and they all had an interest in being there (which always makes it easier).
Though I've taught this course numerous times over the past 3 or 4 years, some of the content had new meaning for me today. Here are some of MY OWN WORDS that felt different when I spoke them today:
*Under every behavior is a feeling. The behavior that an individual exhibits is trying to communicate something, and you must look and listen carefully to determine the real message. *Crisis truisms--the crisis WILL end. The only thing you can control in a crisis is yourself. *There are things that affect your interactions with others called precipitating factors. These are internal and external factors over which we have no control. These are the things that may lead up to a crisis that had nothing to do with you. Understanding these can help you avoid becoming another factor or escalating the behavior. *Those who deal well with crises are able to employ something called rational detachment. This is the ability to stay in control of your own behavior and not take the other person's behavior personally. You have to find positive outlets for the negative energy you absorb from this person without reacting to this person. *Fear and anxiety are universal human emotions. You may not be able to eliminate these feelings, but knowing what makes you afraid and anxious helps you learn to control them. You can also use the energy these emotions create to your advantage.
I truly believe it was serendipitous that I had to teach this course today. I've been struggling with a number of emotions and feel like I am not maintaining my internal composure well. I've said these words or variations of them countless times to others to EDUCATE them on how to deal with difficult situations. How is it that I forgot all these things when dealing with my own crisis???
During my lunch break, I chatted with a male colleague (he was not attending the training but was conducting a different training). This colleague has been a good friend for several years, and he had worked as my mother's assistant before he was promoted to his current job (this was more than a decade ago). His wife and I are also good friends, and I spend time with his two children a couple times a month.
He has known about my H's depression, but he didn't know anything of my current situation. Since he had been close to my mother (and has been a good friend to me), it made him sad to hear how things had been lately. He listened and validated my feelings, which was very helpful. He also shared how H might have felt (from the male perspective) about the inheritance of the house. He said that it was probably difficult for him to think that he had not contributed financially (though I didn't contribute financially, either). This wasn't new information for me, but it's interesting to hear it again from yet another source.
I'm excited about my IC appointment tomorrow (Tuesday). I can hardly wait to learn how to breathe.
