I exposed to the common friend WAH has been bunking in with these last 5 monhts but I wonder if I did it "badly". I told him that housing my WAH who was continuing an affair under his roof was unacceptable & that to say "these things just happen" was lazy and uninformed.
I guess I have to be prepared to lose people over this.
Absolutely. I have lost several already, but feel better for it. I'm currently having trouble with myself over one remaining mutual friend, who just refuses to discuss the situation with the STBXW point blank. I struggle because the friend was very much there for me at my lowest moments in the last 3 months, when I sat and sobbed on the stairs holding our wedding pics and couldn't stop, when I felt suicidal, when I didn't have the energy or wherewithall to even get out of bed. She has continued to be there for me. She just also refuses to say anything to the STBXW, she has known her for years. So I'm finding it difficult with her to continue to enforce my "you're not for my marriage, you're not for me" idiom. She clearly disapproves of STBXW behaviour, and says so to me, but has insufficient spine to say it to STBXW.
I think it is maybe also in the back of my mind that if I cling onto any small hope for a resolution for my marriage, I need to leave at least one or two links in place. Apparently the STBXW ALWAYS asks about me when this friend visits. The friend always says "doing just fine!"
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
