The affair burst is planned like a mob hit on several important members.
I would probably give the wife the confidence and ammo she needs to do what she's going to do, and you then hit the others.
The wife will hit some on her side, you guys plan it together. I think it is done so its cheaper for the OM to let go. Either way if they leave you guys, your not holding weight for someone who doesn't want to be with you.
