Naej, I feel prepared to deal with this latest crisis. I feel more prepared than ever before. I'm not afraid of D. I would be fine, and would have no trouble finding a dance partner or girlfriend (or so I think).
When I say I want to be consistent with my spiritual beliefs, I mean that every word and action come from a place of love. This is very difficult, but what I'm striving for. I either want a reconciliation or an amicable D.
I'm going to dig my heels in and not backpedal, even when she's emotional, defensive, or irrational. It's going to take my leadership to move us forward. I have this intuition that the time is ripe for us to move forward. If it's going to happen, it's going to be soon. I think we're both close to a place where we can face the issues. We'll see if I'm right.
We've been emailing back and forth today. She was upset that I didn't go out to dinner last night with her. Her lack of empathy is astounding. I sent several emails. Two of them were boundary-setting letting her know that her dance partner and the Saturday night person are not welcome in the home when I'm there. Her dance partner has a long pattern of disrespect, and it's time I let her and he know my opinion about him. I also let my W know my general mental state, and that I am upset.
She's going to avoid spending the evening with me, and will go out to her Monday night social group, and dancing afterwards. I told her that I still am looking forward to our Hustle classes this week. I hope she hangs in there with it.
I will wait for a response to my initial email about moving the R forward. I know email seems passive, but for us, who are avoidant, it's a step in the right direction.
CL
Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 04/26/1008:46 PM.
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
