Well, the roller coaster ride continues although the highs and lows are somewhat leveling off for now. I have lurked and posted a few other places but haven't written much here.

Believe it or not, we did the Christmas holidays as usual. On Christmas Eve, my H came and drove with us to church and then to my parents. Then he left late and came back early to do Christmas Day here with his mom, sister, aunt and uncle.

Last weekend was his weekend again, but again he didn't take the kids to his place. He spent much of it here. I was sick in bed Saturday with a stomach virus so he actually did 4 hours of volunteer time at a hockey tourney for me. Then when he got back, he let me know he also wasn't feeling well, but hung around until bed time to put kids down and then left.

Sunday he came over briefly and took kids out to lunch, then went home to bed. He also stayed home in bed yesterday.

Last night I invited him to go on a weekend to a resort with us in a few weeks. This morning, after checking his schedule, he called to say it wouldn't work because it is the year-end time at his office and his cousin (our best man) is coming up to go ice-fishing with him.

So I am disappointed naturally and need to not take it personally. But it is hard.

???? There are still unanswered questions in my mind -

Does his lease expire in mid-January and did he renew it or not?

Why isn't he taking the kids to his place any more? (Could he be packing to come home and not want them to see it?)

Tonight he is taking them out for dinner and then to run around but not to his apartment - the kids haven't been there for almost a month...what gives?

The Good Things:

1. Our relationship is not and heavy
2. He is spending alot of time here at home
3. He is doing projects around the house
4. In conversation he talks in the future tense more often than not (he talked with BIL about buying a trailer together - my sister's H)

So gang - you are up to date...it is not any clearer in my book but I still need all the emotional support I can get and I'll continue to provide support and prayers for all of you as well.

Thanks!

totite "Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."