You're asking the wrong guy. I DON'T handle rejection well, and eventually I just stop initiating altogether.
I will say this though: although I understand your point, and can empathize with it, you probably at some point should say it to her more like:
"I'm sorry for the 'prostitute' implication the other night, but when you are only in the mood to make love when we are doing well financially, it makes me feel like I'm nothing to you other than a breadwinner."
Were you guys always mismatched libidos? Has she always been low-drive?
I found her "kiss" reply interesting -- and concerning. Not wanting to ML is one thing, but when a woman doesn't want to KISS, that's a red flag, infidelity-wise.
It can also just mean an overall lack of feeling close, though, or bad breath, lol, or her own body issues, so . . .
Red flag indeed, and I immediately called her on it. I have full access to her email, she is not on facebook, not very computer savy, I get the cell phone bills and she rarely texts.
She does not work so, there is nothing there. If she is having an affair it can't have any emotion behind it.
She was always lower than me, but she was high enough. I have even been checking her little buzzer she uses, and it has not moved. There are three possibilities 1. she is getting it elsewhere (no other signs) 2. she has totally checked out 3. or low progesterone which she will not get checked.
I think it's more likely that she's "punishing" you for your months of low income, and her perceived notion of your contribution to her lack of financial security.
So, dry spell continues. I continue to work my ass off, and we are getting closer to the big payday. I guess I will have to wait till then. Wife has developed a cold and is more miserable than usual.
Leaving today, got a long hug and a kiss. Also, she was concerned that my shirt was tucked in when I was going to the gym, she said, just trying to help you out, then she made me change socks when I was dressing for work. Taking an interest in me again? Or just making sure I do not look like an idiot when I try to finalize a big contract with a bank today.
What if, on the "big payday," you instead did something nice and totally out-of-character . . . for yourself?
Golf trip with some buddies? Major "guy" purchase? Elective surgery?
I think you need to do something to radically change the dynamic of "I will be nice to Burt when he's making money for me/us, and cold to him when he's not." Sure sounds like you DESERVE something fun, anyway.
Puppy
P.S. When the $$$ is good, does she ever initiate?
Part of our problem in the past was me demanding not just initiating. It was every other day or I was a little piss-ant. So, since then, she has been the one to initiate 90% of the time as I was trying to make her more comfortable and more in control.
Now that she has cut it off, I am the one trying, but she tells me no, then she tells me, she does not have to do what she does not want to.
Last night was rough, I told her I do not want to live in a plutonic relationship, she went through why she has been so cold and she said there were a million things, but all she could get out was financial reasons and the time I said she likes it up the rear to a friend (which did not happen) and she never told me who said that. Do not know if you remember that or not.
Getting deep in here, I told her I would see how this all works out for now for the kids sake.
Hugged and kissed this morning, while she was topless to add to it, so, I just do not know.
Thought about taking the boys fishing this summer as a surprise.
Anniversary coming up, have gotten tickets for a broadway play, and a night out with hotel a couple of hours away. I hope she will go, lol.
. . . but all she could get out was financial reasons and the time I said she likes it up the rear to a friend (which did not happen) and she never told me who said that. Do not know if you remember that or not.
Yes, I do. I think I commented at the time that I thought it was bizarre.
Have you ever considered suggesting a sex counselor, specifically? I think your wife may have some real issues in this regard, and maybe a professional could help you guys.
