I believe in some states you can sue for loss of affections is it?? in US.I think as a start the WAS should forfeit all financial entitlements and sign everything to LBS and/or children.I also think if they find a new family they should be made to support BOTH/ALL families. I believe organisations where co workers have affairs should deal with it seriously
I'm in UK, and we're heading fast for a separation of 2 yrs with a clean financial break when we are 1 yr after date of our marriage, which is in 3 months time. I have a solicitor's letter from her to that effect. The money she owes is for work I paid for on a property that she used to try and rent out, but is now about to sell. I paid for most of it after she had dropped the bomb and I still thought she'd come around.
Unfortunately she's in an affair with someone who works with me, not with her, so although I've exposed at my workplace, nothing can really be done.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
If you look at a marriage as a physical object much like a house, then trying to destroy that would be akin to trying to burn the home down... with the family inside as victims
I can find far less offensive crimes (vandalism or burglary for example) that are criminal offenses. I just don't understand why someone violating a home putting each member of the household through the ringer for months, or even years, and finally causing the family to end the home and part ways as something that should be overlooked by criminal law.
In employement law we have constructive dismissal which tastes similar :
In employment law, constructive dismissal, also called constructive discharge, occurs when employees resign because their employer's behaviour has become so heinous or made life so difficult that they may consider themselves to have been fired. The employee must prove that the behaviour was unlawful — that the employer's actions amounted to a fundamental breach of contract, also known as a repudiatory breach of contract.
The exact legal consequences differ between different countries, but generally a constructive dismissal leads to the employee's obligations ending and the employee acquiring the right to make claims against the employer. For example in the United Kingdom, a claim for "unfair dismissal" and a claim for "wrongful dismissal" may arise.
The employee may resign over a single serious incident or over a pattern of incidents. Generally, the employee must have resigned soon after the incident.
The notion of constructive dismissal comes from the concept that (as it is phrased in United Kingdom law) "An employer must not, without reasonable or proper cause, conduct himself in a manner calculated or likely to destroy or seriously damage the relationship of trust and confidence between the employer and the employee." (Courtaulds Northern Textiles Ltd v Andrew [1979] IRLR 84, EAT.)
- From wikipedia
If you read that with some tweaking it can be read against infidleity, with the third party being the employer.
How on earth is it that we can punish an employer for driving an employee out of their workplace, but we cannot punish a third party for driving a WS out of their marriage?
Allen I agree we should do something to the third party.I am struggling to find something that would be pay back for the torture they have put us through. The ow in my sitch involved my dad, giving him a run home from the gym, asking him to show her where we lived and then told my H she knew everything about us and that my dad made sexual comments to her.He was just recovering from lung cancer at this point.She is a predator and vile excuse for a human being. She then pursued my H relentlessly.(I am not making excuses for him,he crossed the line).She then used one of the youngesters he worked with to get to my H as by this time he had moved location.(the youngster was devestated.) I would seriously like to torture her slowly..the only thing I think would hurt her through that rhino skin is my H dumping her to return to his family....Exposure means nothing to these OP.She has called me through the night and also brought a friend to where we lived. (I guess to show them how much he loves her given he has left this fab home) WTF...he was thrown out after pleading to stay....sorry for the vent but exposure for some of these evil beings just gives them power....
ME 44 H 45 D 14 D 20 M 22 YEARS TOGETHER 28YEARS Bomb Drop 14th July 09 Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09) MLC 3years
Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
Interested in this thread as I have just done a second round of Exposure to close family and friends after my WAH revealed (under pressure from me) that his A with OW is alive and well.
I realise the LSB is meant to expose and get out of the way fast.
In my stich, a common friend to whom I exposed, has just written WAH a very rough email which was afterwards fwd'd to me. Everything written is truth, but the tone is not one I would have chosen.
Q: Should I email a thankyou but distance myself from the tone of the email?
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Yes, I think a "Thank you for sharing your feelings and opinions on this very difficult subject" note would be appropriate. And "thank you for supporting our marriage."
I don't think there's any need to distance from anything -- this is obviously what this person felt. why, what did they say??
Now, if your HUSBAND brings it up, I'd say something like "Look, I can't control how other people are going to respond to this, and neither can you. It's a natural consequence of your decision to have an affair, and I've decided that I'm no longer willing to lie for you to cover it up."
The thing is Piano, until the affair is exposed by the LBS or someone else, the LBS is PART of the affair.
Once the affair is brough out into the oppen for public scruitiny (and exposed well, just "exposing" isnt' necessarily a solution.. it can be done badly and not help at all) then you get out of the way and protect yourself from WH.
If you expose well you should feel like you are OUT of the affair when you are done...
Follow up with people who support you I think is very important. Keep yourself in the loop and keep the pressure on WS...
And if they tell everyone a lie that they aren't cheating, or that they were but they have stopped, you need to keep exposing and make sure the public knows the truth
Keep pushing the truth out there and you will stay OUT of the lie.
The word we are dancing around here is Accomplice
ac·com·plice Show Spelled[uh-kom-plis] Show IPA –noun a person who knowingly helps another in a crime or wrongdoing, often as a subordinate.
