How's this for a consequence... I could say to her, "You need to be done with the OM by the end of the week or I'm going to expose your affair to a ton of people, including your parents."
I'm almost to the point where I don't care if she asks me for a divorce. I just want to move on with my life. I just feel like it would be wrong for me to ask for a divorce.
Still waiting for examples of affairs that have been busted (with a WAW). I need assurance that I am not wasting my time.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Do not threaten her with the "affair bursting". The best thing you can do for yourself and your marriage is to do it. You have to calm your nerves and make sure you have enough conclusive information to present it to the places where you will present it. After having this choice forced on you ( having an OM in your life ), breaking the affair open is going to be empowering for you.
Officer In Need, gman, Allan A, and MrBond have all broken the affairs open, and each one of them had a spouse that no longer had a boyfriend to run to when she got mad. The spouses all came home and each of these men's relationships are in various states of repair.
Thanks so much for those examples. I've been reading this morning about MrBond's case. Man, he went through so much! That gave me a boost of confidence. If he can do it, I feel like I can too. My sitch is similar to his in many ways. I plan on reading about the other cases too. Some of these threads are so long! I think I can get some ideas on what works and what doesn't by doing that.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
Your wife will BEAT you TO IT and will paint YOU as a MONSTER...
NEVER SHOW YOUR CARDS... if you are prepared to expose to save your amrriage, just DO IT.
Addicted WS' do NOT back down to threats... they back down to ACTION... WORDS are feathers to them... they just fly away..
A THREAT is not a CONSEQUENCE Ken.
She cheats, you DO X... and she learns that if she cheats, X will follow.
If she LIES and you do Y, she learns that Y will follow...
Each time she PUSHES your LIMITS you SHOW her what the unpleasant result is...
Don't TALK, that won't stop her... ACTION STOPS AFFAIRS.. not threats... Those two are just laughing at you when you do that... They can SMELL your FEAR..
who cares is she says you threw her out? your response to friends and families is no, you told her she could move back in as soon as she ceased her affair. you are welcoming her home as soon as ceases her affair. she put herself out. you say that to people.
