help with a plan

[pigskin]

FM, just trying to channel that anger in a positive and not destructive direction.

Yes, right now, the overriding feeling is anger. Anger at the whole sitch and what it has devolved into. I know some of it is my fault with the way I have handled certain things. Maybe we are beyond saving. I hope not, but it feels like I don't care. If I understand detachment, I guess that's not really a bad place to be.

I continue to live for myself and my kids. Mostly my kids. They will miss out on so much. They will have to grow up faster than they should. I hate what this will do to them!

IDU, you are doing a great job. Try not to think about the effect on the kids, since there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about that if divorce happens. You just do the best you can with them.

Not to be morbid, but think about those who have lost their spouses to accident or illness. You probably could see how wallowing in the misfortune and regret would not be good for you or your kids. To do right by them you would move on with your life as best you could, and accept that some of us are given terrible burdens to bear. That is just how life is, and that's why faith is so important. It's the burdens that draw us nearer to God. Pour yourself into your faith and draw strength from it.

I have to say prioritizing faith and doing the little things that keep it a part of my day (reading the bible before bed, reading from a booklet of daily meditations, saying short prayers when thoughts of my sitch come up) have done tremendous good for me. People reading my thread may view me as a bible thumping Ned Flanders type, but I wasn't that way at all before the bomb exploded. I was very lukewarm before.