My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[awest1217]

Have you read DB or DR? In both, they have many strategies and it is important to use this site or a journal to keep track of what is working and what strategy you are using. Honestly, H responds a lot when you do go dark. He calls, texts, etc., but when you try to talk to him, he ignores you so I would say going dark is a good thing.

One of the other strategies is using a different form of communication so if you feel writing him a letter or e-mail would help you, then later when he is more open, I would send it. Maybe write out something and save it then revise it once in a while. This will make sure that you have written exactly what you want and also so if you do get it another unexpected R talk, your thoughts are already in order and you have a better handle on what you are doing.

What is most important is to stick with what is working. Make sure you set some small action-oriented goals that you would like to see from H and then using a strategy (ie going dark) see if after 2 to 3 weeks if you start to reach some of those goals. If you do then keep using the strategy. If not, then stop and try something different. The biggest thing with DBing is that you have some tools to use.

Based on what you have written, going dark does work because H does start to ask you questions and talk to you. He may not be coming home, but once again you need to think small action-oriented baby steps.