My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[TrentC]

I am still having difficulty with the fact that one of the reasons he says he left is that I didn't talk about our relationship...so how is going dark/dim doing anything but proving to him that I don't want to talk even more.

The answer to that is to be willing to talk about the R if and when he comes to you. Such as...

He also said I act like there is nothing wrong and am just happy and ignore our r....this upsets him.

One of the things to keep in mind is that his perception of the state of things is not exactly the truth. He may be trying to convince himself that you don't really care about the R, so why should he stay?

That is where clear, direct communication comes in. When he says something like that respond with "I understand why you feel this way, but I take our relationship very seriously. What would you like to talk about?"