My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[Vulcanized]

I am not going to give up the moral high ground....yes I lashed out at my h the other day. Probably the first time he's heard my anger about the sitch he has us in. I called and appologized but haven't heard anything from him.

I am still having difficulty with the fact that one of the reasons he says he left is that I didn't talk about our relationship...so how is going dark/dim doing anything but proving to him that I don't want to talk even more. He also said I act like there is nothing wrong and am just happy and ignore our r....this upsets him. I feel like sending him an email so he reads what I have to say instead of hearing what he wants to hear. .....this is pursuing though!

Anyone have thoughts?

Nicole, I think that your H wants reassurance that he can have both you and OW. Do not give him the satisfaction. You acting as if you are ok probably causes H to think that you aren't the entirely sure thing he's counting on.

Let your H come to you. Let your H initiate all R talks. Listen, validate and don't say much about how you feel. Maintain some distance.

I'm in a similar sitch as you, except my H's OW is more than happy to f&*k my H. This is the tack I've taken w/him. Works a whole lot better than when I pursued H. I see that it affects H; not quite enough for him to pull his d*&k out of OW, but enough that H appears to have more interest in me than in the last 9 months.