Piecing with PATIENCE

[totite]

Good Morning Karen, Jackie and Deb. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

I am excited for what today might bring with it. My H will be home (here) later tonight as his buddy left his truck here. I know the kids are excited to see him, but it can't top my excitement.

There is a part of me that says not to get my hopes up, but I am not listening to that part as I choose to live in hope not anxiousness.

I am not big into horoscopes but it has been fun to go to Cainer and look at mine on occasion. Here is today's for LEO. Now keep in mind that both my H and I are Leos:

We are fast approaching an important eclipse of the Sun in the part of your chart that represents adventure and risk. This tells us you are soon going to enjoy success in an area of life that is close to your heart. There are some things you truly feel an affinity for and others that you find some way to enjoy as best you can, yet which don't really excite you. We are talking here, about you soon doing well with something that inspires you, and a chance to fill your future with more of this kind of thing."


I hope your days are filled with PMA. I am trying to Flylady the house in preparation for my H's visit (or return?) this evening. And remember, he is planning to spend some time here with me tomorrow!

I will try to catch up with each of you later too!

Have a great day!

[psluke]

Interesting as I am a Leo also.

Wish it were true!!

Sending you good wished for this evening!!

[thesane1]

Totite,

Thank you for popping over to my thread.
After I read your reply, I came over to see you as you had said that you was fortunate you had no OW to contend with.

This struck a cord with me as although my H did have A it was over before H and I seperated. OW has been totally out the picture for a long time and I do beleive when you have no OP in the picture it is a big percentage difference at breaking down the walls.

So, I read through your threads, I cant beleive I have missed you, your sitch reminds me of mine in lots of ways.

My H and I also had two differnt relationships going at one time we did intimate things whith out the kids knowing and the just spent quality time together in front of the kids and I think I know the reason for this is, they are so confused, they want to come back.. they think... but they need to be 100% sure before they let the kids know because they dont want to hurt them.

I used to feel like my H was having his cake and eating it, he had his single life, and me when he wanted me, and that is hard, But be very patient, dont let those feelings take you astray, the time will come when you can sort that out ( as you know I did ) But before you do make sure His feet are firmly on the ground.

Keep doing what you are doing I really think you can do this, But you must have PATIENCE.

That is the most important thing on the list .. PATIENCE.

I led my H to beleive that I was content with the way things were, almost as if I wasn't sure about the R too, evrytime he indicated he was worried about getting back together, I would say stuff like, yes I am too, I dont want to go back to what we had.

Your doing brilliantly.

Sue

[totite]

Thanks Sue. I will have to keep a close eye on your thread so I can gain those valuable insights along the way.

I am frantically trying to get the house straightened up and trying to work on the two consulting gigs. I have to go on a radio appearance tomorrow morning and have to bone up on the topic at hand. But it all gives me something to do as I await my H's return.

The kids are getting antsy too so he will have a big welcome home all around.

Thanks for the encouragement!

[psluke]

Have a great evening and thank you!

[totite]

Hi all. Just a quick post to let you know that H got home yesterday and did spend time with kids and with me (later ). Will be back to provide more info. But in the meantime, check out Cainer's Leo:

"Lately the Sun has been blowing off a lot of energy, sending cosmic storms throughout the solar system like no astronomers have ever seen. While the solar flares have temporarily cooled, you're encountering ripples of imminent change coursing through your life. The next few days will take you around an unseen corner – so, you suddenly find a new level of courage to dare the forces of change to work their miracles on you. Deep within, you are able to hold that brilliant, stable Leonine core of light. That is why you can afford to grow."

I am choosing to see this in a positive light. (You to Pam - Miss Leo!)

[love_endures4ever]

Hey totite,

Will be back to provide more info.

Got a pitcher of marqueritas waiting....

Cathy

[totite]

Hi Cathy and all! A pitcher huh? Sounds good.

Well, like I mentioned, H did come over after kids went to bed on Tuesday. We spent some quality time cuddling and then .

Wednesday morning I had appointments lined up for the consulting gig and then a dental appt - so I didn't get home until 1. Called H and let him know I was home until 3:30 and that I had gone shopping as he suggested when he called Monday when he called to tell me he had taken Wednesday off from work.

Well, I dozed off (had only about 4 hours of sleep) and woke up to hear H on deck. I let him in. He had been in back shed putting away lawn mower and bringing out snow blower for me. I told him that I was resting as I had a headache and my novacaine was wearing off. (I am sure this reinforced his image of me with bon bons and soaps while the kids are at day care but I was exhausted and didn't know he was there!)

I asked if he had gotten my message and he claimed that he hadn't. He left saying that he had some more winterizing to do at my MIL. I mentioned that if he wanted to stop back the kids and I would like to see him since he had been gone.

Later, the kids called for their goodnights and he was at some friends new home. He said he'd see about stopping by - and didn't. I didn't wait up as I was still tired.

He is due here shortly to pick up the kids for the evening. We'll see how it goes. I am not sure how to read our sitch so I am continuing to be positive, lovingly detached and acting AS IF.

One interesting topic that hasn't been addressed is that his benefits information is due tomorrow. I am carried on it and we use pre-tax accounts for our child care. I have asked him if we can talk about how we might do the benefits for next year because we have talked about taking the kids out of child care to save the money since I am at home. My folks and MIL will watch the kids if I have meetings for my consulting gigs. So it remains to be seen what he is thinking in this area.

But for now...PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE remains the name of the game.

Wish me luck!

[imalright]

You are doing fine, keep doing what you're doing! look for the positives!

Deb

[totite]

Hi there. Well, it has been a tough week for me and I haven't been able to post here either which doesn't help any.

I haven't had alone time with my H since last Tuesday night. He hasn't felt well for the past few days and has been going to bed early - so no late night time for me.

On the positive side:
1. H called and volunteered to take D8 to practice Saturday afternoon.
2. H came over after practice and stayed with kids while I ran a few errands.
3. H prepared part of dinner while I was gone.
4. H came to D8 game this morning even though he isn't feeling well and played with S3 while there. He also asked if I needed him to take S5 to the birthday party.
5. H stopped by late today to see if driveway needed snowblowing (I did it earlier) on his way to do MIL's house. Ended up going to pick up D8 at friend's house so I didn't have too.
6. H kept his benefits the same at work (this worried me as he carries me and I was afraid he would drop my coverage). When I asked about the pre-tax child care he said he was keeping it the same. I told him that we should consider taking kids out of care since I know this is a source of frustration for him - he asked "aren't you working on two projects now?" I said yes but I thought I could do it without child care. He said he was leaving it as is and we'd talk about it later. (Somewhat positive?)

The hard part is that I miss the alone time. I also feel like he is really struggling with "us" for some reason. I am trying not to make ASSumptions, but sometimes you just sense that something is not right.

Tonight I had to address a few things with him even though he doesn't feel well. I mentioned wanting to rip up carpet to get ready for new flooring before putting up Christmas tree otherwise it would have to wait until January.

He asked where the money was coming from and commented that he couldn't magically make money. This type of comment isn't normal for him so whether I can chalk it up to his not feeling well or if he is trying to talk out loud - who knows. It is more about how it was said.

I reminded him that I am getting a check from my consulting gig at the end of the week. He seemed okay with that but I will seek clarification later when he feels better.

I asked if he was going to join us for TG as I wanted to let my sister know and he said he hadn't even thought about it (which I know he has as my sister invited his mom and sister over too, but they already have plasns - my MIL said she and H discussed this). Oh well, his loss, the kids will have fun and my sister is a great cook - so we will enjoy anyway. I will put on the brave face for the kids once again.

I guess the toughest part was that today was our anniversary. He called this a.m. to talk to S5 but didn't say anything so I didn't either. I waited until after D8's game and gave him a card while out in parking lot - very simple silly card with an ILY only.

He didn't say anything. When he left to get D8 this afternoon I told him happy anniversary and he said it back. My S5 said Happy Anniversary mommy and daddy... and H smiled. I didn't expect anything but it was a tough day nonetheless.

So anyway, my PMA is fluctuating - an usual thing for me. I just need some TLC and you folks are it for me.

Thanks for listening!